


Fairy in the Flame

by shiminari



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Cheating, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Homophobic Language, Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Dean Winchester, Pedophilia, Popular!Dean, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smoking, Underage Drinking, artist!Cas, athlete!Dean, punk!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-22 02:38:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1573055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiminari/pseuds/shiminari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nowadays, when people say they're weird, they don't use the term correctly. Dean discovers this after he gets stuck with Castiel for ten days in community service, and learns that's really the only word to describe him. He's essentially the human embodiment of that damn Hot N' Cold Katy Perry song, and Dean loathes being around him, whether it be because one moment he wants to touch Dean in every way possible, or the next an emotional wreck. Even so, though, he willingly wastes time with him, and the two grow on each other, although not all stories are all that simple.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reason to Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: galaxiecastiel.tumblr.com

The transition from fall to winter isn't really a easy one to spot out. One morning it's sunny out and your entire body is drenched in sweat, the next you have to go out to start the car early to defrost it, and lastly there's an abundance of snow on the ground. It's hard to pinpoint when it's fall, and when the hot weather is over, or when the cold weather will begin. It's almost like falling in love; one minute, you're talking about some stupid band or someone at your school, the next, pressed against the wall as kisses are planted against your face, neck, anywhere, really, hands searching all over you, gripping here and there, as you feel the rush of a lifetime that you never want to let go.

  
Or at least, that's how Hollywood portrays teenage love; Dean never has actually liked someone, let alone kiss someone passionately in the janitor's closet between classes. Not that he _wants_ to, anyways, or so he tells himself. He finds it pointless and unnecessary to have someone feeling you all over, someone to call your own. Well, that may be influenced by the low-self esteem issue, thinking no one will ever actually like him, therefore making him think that he's undesirable. Forget the fact that he was on the football team and all the girls loved screaming his name, his father did a damn good job of making him hate himself. This resulted in him being somewhat of an asshole to everyone, but they all still stayed around him, but even then he didn't feel like it was even real at all. He could still remember when his mother used to tell him he'd end up with a sweet girl who would love him with all her heart, caring for him and they'd live happily ever after, but to treat her nicely and they'd have children and have the best life imaginable. Yeah, _right_. At this rate, he'd be happy just to graduate, get a scholarship, and have a good life in an apartment or a small house, with a pet at the most. He didn't get how people _craved_ for relationships, throwing themselves out there, but whatever.

  
"God dammit.." he heard someone mutter before the sound of someone throwing up reached Dean's ears. He frowned, his thoughts now turning into him wondering what it could possibly be, or who, rather. He turned the corner and looked to the left and right, before seeing a huddled figure in an alley, wiping his mouth. It was hard to see him through the rain which was coming down rather heavily, some of it bouncing off of Dean's black umbrella. He didn't know the black blob that was currently being soaked, and didn't think he _wanted_ to, really. He couldn't think of any reason to help this person, yet felt like he had to, even though he had to head home soon back to his little brother, Sammy, mother, and possibly his father, if he had gotten back yet from his latest job. He looked around, and only saw a few cars making their way in the rain, and sighed, realizing no one would come to help him.

  
"Just this once, Dean. Just do it." he told himself, his thumb and index finger coming up, pinching the top of his nose, or rather the space in between his eyes. "No one else is going to help him, and he could be dying. Probably not, but hell, just go help him. It'll only take a damn minute." Dean walked forward, and the figure turned his head slightly to meet Dean's eyes.

  
The first thing he noticed was the piercing blue eyes that were filled with exhaustion and fatigue, yet lively and animated at the same time, that popped due to his outfit and his soaked brown hair. They looked at Dean, moving up and down, before he smiled, slight crow's feet next to his eyes as they narrowed slightly, his smirk rather devious and smug. His black hoodie was unzipped, draping rather loosely around his body, a tank-top underneath accompanied by some black jeans, as well as some black combat boots. Dean was a bit turned off to say the least at all the black, but put up with it as he continued to move forward.

  
"You one of Abaddon's, coming to finish the job?" he grinned, trying to stand up, his legs shaking, although it was obvious he couldn't put up a fight, if that's what he was hinting at.

  
"Not at all?" Dean replied, his eyes narrowing. "Just wanted to help."

  
The man cackled, his head turning up slightly, as he closed his eyes. "Really? _You_ wanna help _me_?" he scoffed, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

  
"Do you have a problem with it? 'Cause if I bother you so much I can leave at any time without _any_ damn regrets."

  
"Nah, just surprised. Thought you would have recognized me by now. I mean, I just recognized you, but then again, everyone in town knows you, Winchester. Now, explain to me and humor me as to why you'd want to help someone like me." his eyes pierced straight through Dean, as his eyebrows bunched together in frustration.

  
"Do you want my fucking help or not?"

  
"Yeah, yeah, sure, but what do you expect to do? Not like you have a car, and I'm _certainly_ not walking the half mile to my house." he smirked.

  
"I'll get you a taxi," Dean gritted, his teeth clenched.

  
"What a savior."

  
Dean got out his phone and called 666-6666, and soon a taxi would arrive. He then actually came closer to him, bending down, the umbrella shielding both of them from the rain, Dean meeting his gaze and then looking down to all the vomit, before standing up.

  
"Oh, what's wrong, princess has a weak stomach?"

  
"Shut it," Dean replied, before bending down once again, clenching his teeth. "Come on, we have to get you to the taxi, or at least to the road to wait for it."

  
The man put his arm around Dean's shoulder, as Dean did the same with his arm, and they slowly made it to the sidewalk. "Where do you live?"

  
"End of Wayland Street, the yellow house," he replied. "I can make it inside fine."

  
"Good, I'm not going there anyways."

  
The taxi pulled up, and Dean made sure he got inside and gave the cab driver five dollars, seeing as how it was 2.50 the first 1/6th of a mile, and 40 cents every 1/6th of a mile after that.

  
"He needs to go to the end of Wayland Street." Dean instructed. The driver nodded, and before Dean closed the door, the man spoke out.

  
"Oh, and before you have a conniption fit and spend every waking minute thinking of who I am, the name's Castiel Novak."

  
He smirked before closing the door himself, and the taxi drove off, leaving Dean in the rain with his black umbrella looming over.

\--

"Dean, time to get up!"

  
Dean's eyes fluttered open, groaning as he glanced over to the clock and saw it read 7. He rolled out of bed as Sam closed the door, and hopped into the shower connecting him and Sam's room, coming out five minutes later, the incident with him and Castiel replaying. _Did he go to Dean's school?_ He searched his mind but couldn't recall ever really seeing him. He shrugged it off, before getting dressed and going downstairs to where Sam was eating a bowl of cereal, and made himself one as well.

  
Their father hadn't been able to make it home last night, calling Sam to tell him that he had picked up another job and would be back sometime soon, possibly. Dean was a bit glad, seeing as how he made it home rather late. He wasn't too surprised by this, and it was actually quite typical of their father.

  
The morning went as it normally did, and in no time the two were at school, Dean parking the black Impala he loved oh-so-dearly near the front of the school, him and Sam going their separate ways, as Dean smiled and told him to have a good day.

  
"Dean!"

  
He turned and saw Jo walking towards him, getting a few looks from people here and there, not caring though. Jo and Dean had been friends since they could remember, but since she didn't fit in with any of the girls who clung to Dean, the school didn't exactly like her presence around Dean, but it was unspoken.

  
"Hey, Jo," he replied, smiling as she started walking with him around the school. With her around, no one would confront him, which he thought was good because he wanted to see if he could find Castiel, if he was at school today, anyways.

  
"My momma is gonna make some pies and wanted you to come over for dinner with Sam tomorrow," she said, making Dean's smile widen.

  
"Sure thing, what time?"

  
"Six sharp, Winchester. I have to go print out a paper for English, but I'll see you around. When's your next game?" she asked.

  
"This Friday, home field, at seven. I'll get you the schedule soon," Dean replied, as Jo smiled.

  
"Alright, stay outta trouble before I have to come kick your ass myself," she told him before walking off.

  
Dean kept walking around, but couldn't find Castiel, and didn't want to ask anyone about him. A few people joined him during his walk saying hi, talking idly, but they all had to go sooner or later. By the time the first bell rang, Dean had searched _everywhere_ , or it felt like it anyways, but couldn't find Castiel. He went to his classes and lunch, nothing out of the ordinary.

  
By the time last period rolled around, Dean was half convinced he didn't even go to his school. Why was he even worrying about him, anyways? He got home _fine_ and that was that. Dean didn't even know what to tell him, that is if he actually found him. He stopped to think about all of today, wondering if he was actually thinking past finding Castiel. He sighed, as he continued to take notes from the powerpoint on the board, not even reading and comprehending the words, only seeing a jumble of letters as his mind swirled. He couldn't even really talk to anyone about it, and he thought those kinds of problems were the worst. Unfortunately for him, they seemed to be one of the only problems he got.

  
The bell rang and he shoved his notebook and pen in his backpack uncaringly, people getting up all around him and leaving him, a couple of them waiting by the door for him. He got up and walked out the door, accompanied by the trail of students who greeted him and smiled at him. He did the same back but was a bit distraught he couldn't find Castiel and was half paying attention to anyone or anything, making it to his car and telling everyone goodbye.

  
He looked around for Sam, who'd be there any second, when he heard someone walking towards him, and turned his head to see who, his green orbs meeting a pair of blue ones.

  
"Hey, Winchester! How's my _favorite_ princess, today?"


	2. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was expecting like 3 people to like this and although this doesn't have as many hits or kudos as other fanfics I'm still really happy you guys are here and this may only be a few chapters in but still; I hope you stick around to bare with my horrid writing (I don't have a beta woops) and stupid drawings though

Castiel walked forward towards Dean, smirking. He looked like shit, but better than yesterday at least, wearing the same clothes from what Dean could tell. Or he just owned an abundance of black clothing, and Dean favored the latter.

  
"What're you doing here?" Dean asked.

  
"Came to get my school work. I didn't really expect to see you here, though. Do you have a _problem_ with that?" he sneered. This was getting the attention of a few, and they started crowding around them and Dean's car.

  
"I never said that I did," Dean replied, teeth gritted.

  
"You look like you had a rough day," Castiel teased, walking forward, closing the wide space between them. They were now less than a foot apart, and Castiel could even count all the freckles on Dean's face if he desired. He raised his hand to mess up Dean's hair, which made Dean frown. He tried to step back but his car was in the way, and Castiel stepped forward once more. "What happened, sad you didn't see me until now?"

  
"You _wish_ ," Dean replied, his eyes narrowing, although he was spot on. This was all moving too fast, and it was all too unrealistic. His personality was very different from yesterday, much more snarky and disrespectful? Dean couldn't find the word for it, but it was along the lines of that at least.

  
"Why wish when it's already real?"

  
"Why're you touching me? Don't you have school work to get?" Dean retorted.

  
"Already got it, lovey. But, thank you for the concern. _Just_ like with yesterday," Castiel replied, leaning in close, their noses brushing. Dean looked to the side, but Castiel kept leaning forwards, his nose now touching Dean's cheekbone.

  
"Would you fucking quit it?" Dean asked, getting a bit madder at the fact he was being harassed now.

  
"Oh, such a prude. It's not like I'm sticking my dick down your mouth," he replied, a wide smile breaking out.

  
"Just go already, I have no idea what you're doing but you need to go," Dean tried once again.

  
"Shh babe, just wanted to thank you for yesterday," Castiel smirked.

  
Dean was getting flustered and frustrated at this point, as more and more people gathered around watching. No one actually said anything, except whisper to each other, and he didn't know what to do. He knew that if he tried walking away Castiel would follow him most likely, or stay by his car which he needed to be in, so it wasn't a win/win situation at all.

  
He decided to push Castiel and get in his car, although it didn't work out like that; he pushed Castiel who grabbed his hands, taking him with him as he stepped back a bit from being pushed.

  
"Now _that's_ not very nice of you," Castiel told Dean, his arms slowly wrapping around him.

  
"Get the fuck off of me, would you?" Dean tried shrugging Castiel off, but he just pushed Dean against his car, their bodies pressed together.

  
"Why won't you let me thank you?"

  
"By pressing your body against mine? No thanks, if you could move now so I could go home now that'd be fucking great though."

  
"Now why would I want to do that?" Castiel inquired, his eyes narrowing as he smiled even wider.

  
At this point Dean was fed up, and pushed him once more, but he came back again. Dean met his gaze, and realized he wouldn't leave; Castiel was having too much fun toying with him, and wouldn't leave at all. Maybe it was all the attention he was getting, whether it be from Dean himself or the people crowding around that was drawing him in, but Dean couldn't take much more of it. He wasn't gay or bi or anything like that, and he knew he'd be teased about this incident if it ended badly, or Castiel getting what he wanted and making a fool out of Dean. Dean stood up straight, and took one final look at Castiel, before punching him in the face. This threw him back, not off of his feet, but close; he wiped his face, still smirking.

  
"Now, that's not very nice," Castiel told him, coming forward to punch Dean back, when someone yelled.

  
"Stop this instant! Both of you, principals office, now!" a teacher told them, coming to break up the "fight". The kids around dispersed and went their own ways, still looking over their shoulders as they did so, as Dean and Castiel were taken back into school, and directly to the principal's office.

  
"I caught these two fighting outside, I'll leave it to you," the teacher said, before closing the door on the way out as the principal nodded. Dean looked around the office, some bookshelves next to the door, and filing cabinets in the back of the principals oak desk, as well as the occasional window. There was a plant in the corner which Dean suspected was fake, and the room in general was just bland and boring, like how he expected it to be, and how the rest of the school was.

  
"So, can you two tell me your names, and explain to me what was going on exactly?" Mr. Milton asked. The awards on his walls all said his full name, Zachariah Milton, in big capital letters as if being principal was the greatest accomplishment someone could ever accomplish.

  
Castiel surpressed a laugh, as Dean's eyes narrowed at him. "Dean Winchester, and he came up to me while I was waiting for my little brother and started coming into my personal space for no reason," Dean started. A bit of a lie, there was a reason, but he decided to leave that out for now.

  
"Castiel Novak, and I just wanted to thank him for taking care of me yesterday," he smirked, slightly filling in the blank.

  
"Taking care of you? Care to elaborate, Mr. Winchester?" the principal asked.

  
"I was walking home and he was in an alley, and I got him a cab back to his house, and that was that. I didn't even know him before this," Dean answered.  
"Mr. Novak, can you explain how you were trying to thank him?"

  
"I just wanted to give Dean here a big ol' hug and tell him how grateful I was," Castiel replied, as the principal seemed to get a bit uncomfortable. "But then he pushed me away and punched me."

  
"Well what was I supposed to do?" Dean retorted.

  
"Boys, please. Now, the standard procedure is to suspend both of you for ten days," the principal began, as Dean's eyes widened and he groaned inside, and even more so when he realized the principal wasn't done speaking. "But, the school systems are now requiring us to become stricter, and we're trying out a new suspension system, and it's now required that we also assign you community service. You'll have to do the equivalent of a school day in community service, so that means six hours, Monday through Friday, for the next two weeks, meaning you'll come back two weeks from tomorrow. If you fail to do so, you cannot come back to school." he paused, as Dean and Castiel both looked at each other, irritated and shocked. "The school will set up where you do community service, and you'll start tomorrow. We'll be calling your families to enforce this and tell you where you'll be going, as well as have the paperwork ready. Are we clear?"

  
Dean's eyes glanced to the principal, and back to Castiel, and then back again, before Castiel spoke for the both of them, and said, "Yeah."

  
The principal looked to his computer and then back to a black container on his desk. "Now, before you two leave, I'll just check to see if your information on your blue cards are updated." He opened the container and filed through the cards before finding Castiel's, who he handed to him, and then to Dean's, who he handed to Dean.

  
"Yeah, it's all right." Dean replied, as he saw Castiel look over to him.

  
"Same," Castiel told the principal, before handing it back.

  
"Alright, thank you, you both may leave now."

  
Dean and Castiel got up and walked out, and the second they got out the office Dean felt like blowing up in Castiel's face, but couldn't, a bit speechless.

  
"So, guess we get to spend the next two weeks together. Doesn't that sound fun?" Castiel sneered, and Dean got his voice back.

  
"What the fuck?" he asked, his eyes narrowing and his teeth gritted.

  
"You never answered my question."

  
"Well yeah, you fucking got me suspended! That shit doesn't look good," Dean yelled as they left the school.

  
"Well, Deanie, what did you think was going to happen when you hit me?" Castiel asked innocently.

  
"I don't know, Cassie, that you'd leave me alone and I would go home?"

  
"Well, you got one of your wishes, aren't you glad?" Castiel smiled.

  
"You're lucky I don't beat the shit out of you right now," Dean threatened, walking towards his car where he saw Sam sitting inside, his eyes widening at the sight of the two.

  
"I'm so scared, really, Deanie. I can't _wait_ to spend the next two weeks with you. Can you imagine, me, hanging out with the infamous Dean Winchester?" Castiel sneered.

  
"Shut your god damn mouth," Dean snarled, ready to punch Castiel once again.

  
"You're just making the next two weeks even worse for yourself, if you hate every cell in my body, you know that?" Castiel paused, clearly enjoying this. "Also, can I get a ride?"

  
"You're kidding, right?" Dean stood next to his car door, ready to get in, as Castiel stood next to him and the backseat door.

  
"Of course not, I never kid. Walking is such a bother, and you have a car right here. I expect you to pick me up and drop me off as well," Castiel smirked.

  
"You're out of your fucking mind," Dean told him, getting in his car, as Castiel opened the backseat door and got in with him. "Hey, get out!"

  
"Nice to meet you, Sam, right? And no, you already know where I live, go on, drive me," Castiel was clearly pushing his luck and Dean couldn't even tell if he was joking at this point. Sam met Dean's eyes, and then turned around in his seat.

"What're you doing in here?" he asked curiously.

  
"Deanie and I got suspended together, isn't it great?" Castiel smiled, as Sam's eyes widened and look to Dean. "We get to spend our school hours doing community service together, so why not give me a ride home?"

  
"Because I don't want you in my fucking car?" Dean replied, as he started it up and drove out of the parking lot.

  
"And yet you're driving me right now? I doubt that." Castiel pointed out, his hands behind his head as he slouched down, putting his feet up on the seats, getting on Dean's nerves. Wayland Street wasn't far, and Dean turned the radio on as they sped there, making it there in a minute or so.

  
"Get," Dean commanded.

 

"Come get me at let's say 7:30 or so, and we can stop and get coffees," Castiel smiled as he opened his door. He got out and tapped on Dean's window, as Dean sighed and rolled it down a tad. "I'm not joking, Winchester." he said with the most serious expression Dean had seen him with, but it quickly turned into him laughing and smiling as he walked into his house.

  
"Wow, do you want to have breakfast with those coffees, too?" Dean called out, as Castiel turned around and laughed, and nodded his head, before going inside. Dean simply frowned and drove the mile to his house, Sam not asking anything.


	3. Maybe I'm Amazed

John hadn't made it home yet, but by the time Dean had put a frozen pizza in the oven for himself and Sam, Mary had pulled into the driveway with with the mother of all bitchfaces. She went straight up the stairs to Dean's room, not bothering to knock, absolutely furious as Dean sat straight up in his chair, closing his laptop and turning around to meet her gaze.

  
"I'm going to wait for your father to come home so all three of us can discuss why your principal had to call my today," she told him, her voice steady, as well as sounding as sharp as ever, "He'll be here soon, so get off your laptop and wash up for dinner."

  
Dean didn't say anything as Mary stormed out, knowing he deserved it, and got in the shower, turning it up as hot as he could handle. He hated this entire ordeal; he had just wanted to help someone, yet it turned into a big clusterfuck.

  
He cleaned up quickly before standing in the shower for a few more minutes, wishing all of his problems could just go away, just as the soap gently ran down his body and down the drain. Dean realized this obviously wasn't the case, and then realized he had spaced out and had been in the shower for far too long, using up a lot of the hot water. He got out, and walked into his room with only a towel on hugging his waist, and one for his hair as well. He made sure his door was locked because he'd prefer for his mother to not walk in on him again, and went to turn on the lights so he could actually see.

 

He turned around and nearly had a heart attack, seeing a black blob tapping on his window. He groaned as he went over and opened it, although he was more than tempted to just push Castiel out of it.

  
"Hey, Deanie!" Castiel smiled as he crawled in. "You know, I didn't expect to Twilight my way into your room. I didn't even think people had trees this close to their house, but I've been wrong before. You feeling like a idiotic co-dependent teenage girl tonight, because if so, I'm your Edward Cullen, babe."

  
"Keep your voice down," Dean warned.

  
"Oh, what's this, you just got out the shower?" Castiel asked as he stood up, examining Dean's room.

  
"Yeah, and I'm about to have dinner. Why're you here in the first place?" Dean managed to get out through his gritted teeth.

  
"Oh, got bored, and I saw your address on your blue card, so I decided to stop by and give you a visit. Do you not enjoy my presence?" he teased.

  
"Not at all, you stupid fuck."

  
Castiel smiled, before he got uncomfortably close to Dean. "Why don't we continue what we were doing this morning?"

  
"Fuck off and go already," Dean responded. "But, last time I checked, I was about to punch you again, so why don't we do that?"

  
Castiel only laughed, before stopping as he heard someone approach. "Dean, dinner is ready," Sam informed them from the hallway.

  
"I still need to get dressed, I'll be down in a minute," Dean replied, as Castiel got even closer, their hips touching.

  
"Oh, how unfortunate, you'll be leaving me," Castiel told him, their faces coming dangerously close once more, Castiel's nose nudging Dean's cheek.

  
"Dude, seriously, get the fuck off already, it's bad enough you stalked me down. This whole flirting thing is getting old, real fast," Dean growled, as Castiel pushed him back more to his bed.

  
"Or what, you're going to explain why there's a boy knocked out in your room and why you were barely even dressed?" his fingers went under Dean's towel, threatening to pull it off. Dean pushed him back, the towel still on his body though, thankfully.

  
"Look, I need to go eat. Just... leave, alright? I have to spend ten days with you, which is already more than enough."

  
"But there's nothing else to do," Castiel whined.

  
Dean sighed, thinking he really should have just pushed Castiel out of the window. "What's there even to do in here?" he asked, hoping his parents wouldn't ask why he was so late to dinner, or who he was talking to.

  
"Explore your room," Castiel replied, smiling. "And stare at that cute little ass of yours, but that can come later after you eat dinner."

  
Dean rolled his eyes, groaning on the inside. "Just, stay in here, and don't make a sound. And don't touch anything, either," he shot a look at Castiel, before going over to get his pajamas, consisting of a ratty old Zeppelin shirt and some plaid flannel pajama pants. He got a pair of boxers out from another drawer, and then went to the bathroom, coming out in record time, and going downstairs, closing the door behind him.

  
He made his way to the table, only his parents there. He knew Sammy was probably in the living room, watching TV and eating. He looked to the table and saw a plate for him, while John and Mary had nothing in front of them, their hands folded. Dean took a seat, uncomfortable, and unsure if he was supposed to start eating.

  
"Eat, Dean, but listen to what we have to say." Mary began, her lips pressed tightly together in a straight line, expressionless. He could tell she was trying her best to not yell at him, as he hesitantly raised the pizza to his mouth, and started eating. "From what the principal told us, it's your fault. You were the one to swing first, and only one to swing on top of that. I have no idea what's gotten into you, but from what I was told, the boy, Castiel, was just trying to help you. There was no need to get violent." she paused, wondering if John had anything to say, but he simply sat there, a hard, cold stare piercing through Dean as he scarfed down the pizza as fast as he could.

  
"I was also told you have to do community service now. You and that boy will be reporting to the Nature Center, and you are not to miss any days, or get into any more fights from here on out. If you didn't have to do community service I'd take away some of your privileges, so count yourself lucky. Are we clear?" Mary asked. Dean nodded, his mouth full. He thought she was going to yell at him more, or even really just yell, but he knew she was as far from happy as you could get, and same with his father. They both got up and exited, leaving Dean to finish eating, which he did within the next few minute, and then threw out his paper plate, although he was still somewhat hungry, seeing as how Sam took and more than likely ate more than half the pizza.

  
He didn't exactly know how to feel, because after all, they were right. He did punch Castiel, but... well, he didn't have anything to counter that, except for the fact Castiel was making him irritated. It wasn't like he made him punch him, and the more Dean pondered about it, he came to terms that it was to blame for all of this. He walked up the stairs, realizing Castiel was still there, and tried to figure out how to get him out of his house. Dean opened the door and saw him laying on his bed, smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke up to the ceiling.

  
"Dude, what the fuck?" Dean almost yelled, closing the door and locking it behind him. "You can't do that in here, if my parents smell it they'll think I've been smoking. I'm not getting into even more trouble over your stupid ass,"

  
"No biggie, I'll just go up onto the roof," Castiel replied, hopping off of Dean's bed and crawling out the window, and disappearing. Dean was surprised that Castiel actually co-operated with him, but shrugged it off as he turned his ceiling fan on, and sprayed a massive amount of air freshener in his room, especially on his bed. He then sighed, looking at his opened window, before putting the air freshener can down and cautiously crawling out of the window, up onto the roof.

  
Castiel grinned as Dean sat next to him, trying to get comfortable on the roof. "What made you come out here?" he asked.

  
"I just wanted to see what you were doing, that's all." Dean replied sharply.

  
"Just smoking, you want some?"

  
"Did you not just see me freak out?" Dean retorted, rolling his eyes.

  
"Hey, it's not that hard to get smoke off of you," Castiel replied. "Besides, what's so bad about smoking?"

  
Dean sighed, laying back onto the roof, as a helicopter flew above them, high in the air. It was quiet as Castiel blew more smoke into the air, and Dean resisted the urge to not just throw the cigarette away, let alone push him off of the roof top.

  
"What's good about smoking?" he asked in return.

  
"It makes you feel good, happy, relaxed, so on and so forth," Castiel replied.

  
"You know, you could be those things from doing anything else," Dean pointed out, "Without harming your health."

  
Castiel laughed at this, before responding with, "You're gonna die somehow, whether it be today, tomorrow, a year from now, and you don't know what you're going to die from. Why be so stuck up and not just live in the moment?"

  
Dean groaned, before telling Castiel, "You didn't just use one of those stupid hippie quotes. Don't make me push you off this roof,"

  
Castiel's stomach growled as he put out his cigarette on the roof, ignoring Dean's last comment. "You got any food?"

  
"The pizza is all gone, so not really. I don't know of any food we have for dinner," Dean replied. "Mom hasn't done shopping in a while."

  
Castiel lifted himself up a bit to take out his wallet, and found he had some money. "Do you wanna go to Denny's with me?" he asked Dean.

  
"Why would I wanna do that?" Dean asked, sitting up.

  
"Because, we're already going to spend the next ten days or so together. What's another night?" Castiel replied.

  
"Another headache?" Dean asked.

  
"Possibly," Castiel responded, as he crawled back down to Dean's window, and then to the tree so Dean's parents wouldn't know he was over. "So, are you coming or not?"

  
Dean rolled his eyes as he slid down the roof and back into his room. "With you, I'm slowly learning that I don't exactly have a choice, you stupid fuck."

  
Castiel's eyes lit up, as he smiled, and headed towards Dean's car parked in the driveway.


	4. Not Strong Enough

"So, what meal are we sharing today? Or tonight, rather." Castiel mused as they sat at a booth somewhat near the back, two menus laid in front of both of them, accompanied by their coffees.

"Don't start this," Dean groaned, a bit of regret building up in him.

"Oh, fine," Castiel pouted, turning the page in his menu. "I think I'm going to get some breakfast food, because breakfast at night is fucking _amazing_."

Dean rolled his eyes, looking over to a family sitting relatively close to them, although he wasn't sure if they had heard Castiel or not. The couples kids seemed to be distracted by their own toys, so Dean looked back to Castiel. He was smiling at him, like an idiot, and for reasons Dean couldn't figure out, and was pretty sure he didn't want to figure out in the first place.

The waitress came around, and gave the typical waitress smile and, "Hello, how are you?" when in reality she most likely couldn't care less, before asking if they were ready to order.

"I'll have two blueberry pancakes with bacon," Dean told her, folding the menu back up.

"And you, sweetheart?" she asked Castiel.

"Two chocolate chip pancakes with walnuts and sausage," he replied, stacking his menu on top of Dean's.

"Alright, Cas, they'll be done soon, alright?" she informed him, her eyes sparkling as she smiled once more, and took their menus.

"So, Cas is it? And you know her?" Dean asked as soon as she was out of ear shot.

"How often do you think I come here?" Cas retorted. "Not like I want to cook for myself. Besides, she gives me discounts and free coffee. I don't actually know her though. Just a familiar stranger."

"That's an odd way of putting it." Dean frowned. "Well, anyways, did you hear my mother say that we'd be working at the Nature Center?" Dean asked, trying to strike up conversation so he wouldn't have to sit through Cas watching him and smiling at him for a half hour.

"No, I wasn't trying to eavsdrop on your conversation. What will we even do there?" Cas asked with an expression of concern.

"Not sure, but we'll have to be there at eight, and it'll end at two. I'd assume lunch is an hour long, just like at school," Dean replied.

"Wow, I get to witness a big dumb jock try and be gentle with animals and plants for ten days. What an experience," Cas smiled.

Dean gritted his teeth, tempted to just get up and leave, and hey, why was he here in the first place? Because Cas sneaked into his house and asked him to? That in its own sense should have had Dean running for the phone. The whole I-saw-your-address-and-stalked-you-because-I-was-bored thing was the epitome of creepy, but it was just ten days, right? Excluding weekends, but still, ten days. Just get it done and over with. Put up with him. Try not to make it obvious he annoys you to high hell. Sounds easy enough, right?

"Dean? Princess Deanie? Are you awake in there?" Cas asked, snapping his fingers extremely close in front of Dean's face.

"Yeah?" Dean replied, snapping out of his thoughts. Scratch that last thought.

"Good, they're bringing our food," Cas informed him.

Dean dug into his pancakes despite the pizza he had earlier, as Cas did the same, but it was a bit too quiet, the radio in the background doing no justice to the eerie stillness.

"So, are you going to tell me what was going on in that alley?" Dean finally asked.

"Oh, well you see I'm associated with Crowley. Abaddon and her clique don't like him or anyone affiliated with him. Long story short, I said some shit about her and a few of hers came after me and cornered me in the alley and tossed me around for a bit. Not like it hasn't happened before," Cas replied, not even fazed by what he was saying.

"Why are you saying this like you're telling me the time?" Dean asked, astonished.

Cas shrugged. "I don't know, might have been what I was smoking earlier. But then again, it's not unusual for them to come after me."

"When you say associated with Crowley, what do you mean?"

"He supplies me."

Dean put his fork down, his eyes narrowing. "Supplies you?"

"Yeah, hooks me up with whatever I want to make my life more bearable," Cas squinted at Dean. "You can't seriously be telling me you've never drank or smoked or done anything slightly dangerous or illegal? Are you a stickler?"

Dean rolled his eyes at Cas, who resumed eating. "I never saw the point of doing any of that. Do you also have an abundance of piercings and tattoos that I can't see right now?"

"Although I need things to help me feel better, I'm not wreckless. You need to be 18 to get anything done without a parent, and my birthday isn't until December," Cas answered.

"Why not have one of your friends or Crowley's do it for you?" Dean inquired.

"I'd rather just wait till I'm 18 so there's no risks,"

Dean laughed. "Of all the things you're responsible about it's tattoos and piercings, the least illegal of everything else that you do."

"Yeah, well, at least I'm responsible about something."

The bill came and Cas took out his wallet, putting down around fifteen dollars and then exiting to the Impala with Dean.

"Well that was enjoyable, wasn't it?" he asked, trying to grab ahold of Dean's hand as he pulled out the parking lot.

"Up until now," Dean replied, snatching his hand away and putting it on the steering wheel.

"Don't be like that babe," Cas insisted, as Dean started driving to Cas's house.

"I'm not even gay,"

"So? We can still hold hands platonically,"

"I'd rather not," Dean replied.

Dean drove to the end of Wayland Street, and saw a yellow house. He pulled into the driveway and looked over to Cas.

"Come on, time to go," Dean told him.

Cas took out a flask and took a few sips before putting it back in his hoodie. "That doesn't sound fun," he pouted, before slowly moving over to Dean.

"Cas, there's a thing called personal space, and also, you're at the very least drunk. You need to go," Dean told him, as Cas started stroking Dean's legs.

"Why would I wanna do that?" he asked, putting his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Seriously, I'm about to dump you out of my car and drive off if you don't stop it," Dean replied. "Just don't drink or smoke for the rest of the night, we have community service tomorrow morning,"

"But if I don't then I..." Cas trailed off, burying his head in Dean's chest. He sighed before opening the driver's door and dragging Cas out of his car.

"Just go to sleep, I'll come to get you in the morning," Dean told Cas, before walking him to the front door. "Unless you'd like to spend more days in community service without me."

Dean started walking back to his car, as Cas called out, "What, no goodbye kiss?"

"No, Cas, you're drunk, go to sleep."

"Not even a hug?"

"Nah."

* * *

"You actually came to get me."

This was the first thing Cas said to Dean as he got in the car, today still wearing his black eyeliner, and well, almost black everything, but at least there was a variety. A different hoodie, some band shirt, but the same shoes and black pants.

"Yeah, I told you last night I would. You wanna grab something from Dunkin?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded, and seemed different from yesterday, and not just hungover, but not how he acted the past two days. Dean decided not to ask, he probably was just sober and hadn't smoked whatever he smoked, yet, anyways.

"So, the Empire? Is that some underground shit that only four people know about?" Dean asked, pointing to Cas' shirt.

He laughed, before looking down. "No, they're somewhat known. I've been to a few concerts, and there's actually one coming up soon," he stopped to think. "Today's the 30th, and the concert is on the 10th, so the weekend before we go back to school. My little sister is actually in it,"

"Really? What's her name?" Dean asked, interested, as he pulled into Dunkin Donuts.

"Anna," Cas replied, his eyes lighting up.

"Well, what's she like? Does she still go to school?"

"No, she's taking courses online now so she's not bothered by school interfering with her band. She has red hair and is very sweet and kind. But, unlike me, she does have piercings and a few small tattoos." Cas replied. It wasn't much, but it was still something.

"Do you have any of their music on your phone? Also, what do you want?" Dean asked, before it was their turn to order.

"Everything bagel and cream cheese, and a large coffee, four sugars and extra cream," Cas replied, taking his phone out of his hoodie.

Dean repeated that, as well as the same thing for himself. He pulled around and paid for the food, before pulling out the parking lot.

"Do you have an audio jack?" Cas asked.

"In the glovebox," Dean replied, taking a bite of his bagel. Cas plugged the wire in, and music filled the car.

"So, what does Anna do?" Dean asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sings. She has a rather nice voice," Cas answered.

Dean listened as the guitar playing, the drums and bass accompanying it. He waited to hear her start singing, and didn't know exactly what to expect to hear. They sounded clear and polished, obviously not recorded in someones basement or garage.

You can't save me can anybody tell  
Me what I should hate you for  
Living is just such a chore

Dean was a bit taken back by it; it was more a freestyle lyric song, but it wasn't the worst thing he had heard. He looked over to Cas who seemed to be enjoying himself, smiling as he ate.

"Is this your favorite song by them?" Dean asked.

"I don't really have a favorite, I tend to like them all. These are all demos, they send them to me most of the time to get my opinion." Cas replied, as he presses next.

I sit underneath heaven  
Meanwhile the world is endin

The infection has spread  
As the air fills with dread

He turned it off as Dean pulls into the Nature Center, parking his car relatively to the front. He finished his bagel before getting out the car, not exactly sure what to expect.

They walked to the front desk, and Dean couldn't lie; it must have been a sight for sore eyes. The lady at the desk looked a bit startled when she looked up, but the two quickly learned the ropes and were informed they'd be taking care of the guinea pigs and hamsters. By the time everything that they'd need to know about taking care of the two rodents it was lunch time, and like Dean had predicted, they got an hour long lunch from noon to one. The workers told them that they could officially start tomorrow, and they could go home for now.

"Oh, how wonderful, spending my time around a bunch of rodents. Animals are quiet interesting," Cas told Dean as they drove towards Cas' house.

"Yeah, I think the highlight of my time there is watching you make faces at them." Dean replied, rolling his eyes and smiling slightly.

"Oh, Deanie," Cas began. "When will you discover that everything needs to be loved and cared for, whether it be a tiny little guinea pig or a dolt like you?"

Dean's only reply to this was roll his eyes once more.


	5. Apologize

"Look at this one, Deanie. Her name is Princess," Cas breathed, holding up a white and black guinea pig.

"What about it?" Dean asked, as he put the guinea pigs in a temporary box so they could clean the cage.

"She's _very_ rambunctious," Cas told Dean, trying to hold her still.

"Yeah, they all are. Just put her in the box, so we can finish this," Dean replied.

"But she's special," Cas insisted. "Can't you feel it?"

"Is this _another_ one of your live-in-the-moment kind of things?" Dean groaned.

"Oh, stupid old Deanie doesn't think you're special. It's okay Princess, I think you are," Cas murmured, kissing her nose before putting her in the box.

They cleaned out the cage rather quickly, and put the guinea pigs back in, talking as they did so.

"So, how about that little brother of yours?" Cas inquired.

"What about Sammy?" Dean asked.

"What's he like?"

"A really bright kid so far, he hasn't had an actual girlfriend yet but I'm pretty sure he's crushing on our neighbor, Jess." Dean answered.

"Well, why hasn't he gotten into her pants then?" Cas asked.

Dean laughed. "He's too much of a wuss to even ask her out. I think the farthest they got was her pecking his cheek and him blushing for the week after. I don't know if she'll do it again this year, but I would assume so,"

"Lil bro's got game. I just hope he steps up to play," Cas replied. "Maybe he should buy her a pet, y'know, like Princess," he hinted.

"A pet is a lot of work, and she already has some dogs and cats. That, and buying someone a pet is pretty damn stupid. Animals are pretty pointless and dumb in the first place,"

"No need to insult yourself, Deanie, you and your personality already show me how high your IQ must be." Cas replied.

"Excuse me?"

"Well," Cas began. "You were talking about dogs being stupid, when you're just a bitch yourself. Self esteem issues much?"

Dean only sighed, before counting the days once more.

* * *

"So, what are you doing tonight? Consuming copious amounts of alcohol because you can't deal with me?" Cas asked as they ate lunches they both made for themselves in Dean's car.

"I have a dinner to go to," Dean replied.

"Where're you going?"

"Jo and Ellen Harvelle's house, they invited me and Sammy over."

"Ah, Jo, the girl you usually hang out with." Cas paused. "Last I heard, all of your friends hate her."

"Yep, not like I care much, though," Dean answered.

"Wouldn't that mean there's often conflict?"

"Not directly spoken, but yeah, all the time."

"But you still hang out with both parties at the same time," Cas pointed out.

"Yeah, I'm not the one to care too much about people's opinions."

"And yet you insisted on pushing me away that day," Cas smirked.

"Yeah, because you wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. That has nothing to do with what people would think," Dean glanced over to Cas, who was trying not to laugh.

"Whatever you say, whenever you want to come out of Narnia tell me," Cas replied, patting Dean's hand, and getting out the car.

* * *

"Dean Winchester, you get your ass in this dinin' room right now and tell me what in Sam's Hell you're doin', havin' to do community service and gettin' into fights."

Dean knew it was coming, and braced himself as he walked in and saw Ellen putting plates down for Sam, Jo, Dean, and herself. Sam took a seat and Dean sat across from him, knowing as soon as food was put down they'd start discussing what had happened.

Jo and Ellen brought out the food as Dean glanced over to Sam, who was also due for an explanation that wasn't Mary telling Dean how things would be. Everyone got their plates filled, and Ellen looked over to Dean, not saying a word.

"I helped a guy, he decided to repay me by invading my personal space, we got in trouble because I decked him in the face, the end." Dean told Ellen, although he knew she'd start bitching at him just at the fact he simplified everything.

"Now, back up, what do you mean you helped a guy? Who even is this goddamn boy?" Ellen asked.

"His name is Castiel Novak, or Cas. He wears all black and is an arrogant asshole with a bi-polar attitude. I saw him in an alley on Sunday and got him a cab home, that's all, I didn't actually know him beforehand," Dean answered.

"Castiel?" Jo asked, looking straight at Dean. "I know that kid, he's in a few classes of mine. Smart as hell, but doesn't seem like he applies himself. You remember that story goin' around a few years back about the kid that got suspended for doin' it in a janitor's closet? That's him."

"I've heard of him, a few upperclassmen pointed him out to me one day and said he was a druggie and to not be associated with him." Sam wrinkled his nose. "Sucks you have to spend next week with him, too,"

"What's this boy like around you?" Ellen inquired.

"Weird as hell. He pushed himself up against me when I was waiting for Sammy, and one minute is rude and stuck up and the next all flowers and sunshine. Sorta makes you wonder what happened to him," Dean replied, inbetween bites.

"He does have some family issues, somethin' like not communicating with his parents. I've heard a few things about him, and people like to talk up a storm about him, 'specially when he comes into class late." Jo informed Dean.

"Any siblings?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, but none go to the school," Jo replied.

"He has a younger sister," Dean blurted out. "Anna."

"You've been talkin' to the boy?" Ellen asked, a skeptical look on her face.

"Well, yeah, I guess. We had dinner last night, and he expects me to come bring him to community service and back," Dean muttered.

Everyone was silent for a bit, before Jo cleared her throat.

"Just make sure you know what you're goin' on in and gettin' yourself into," she warned.

* * *

"Why do you have a Rubik's cube in your glove department?"

Dean looked over to Cas, who was currently going through all of his papers and other useless junk, his sandwich in his lap.

"What are you doing in there?" Dean inquired, swatting his hands away.

"Well I was trying to get a napkin," Cas replied, examining the rubik's cube.

Dean pulled a napkin from the glovebox and put it on Cas's lap, since he was too mesmirized by the toy.

"Must be Sammy's," Dean mumbled, before taking another bite of his sandwich. He watched as Cas started to solve it, getting it done within a minute. He then put it down between the two of them, before going back to eat his sandwich.

"You can do that?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, it's not too hard. Can you not?"

"I can but it takes a while and I've only done it once. Is it true about you being smart?"

Cas looked over with an expression of mixed emotions. "I'm not stupid, Winchester," he said softly, a whisper almost.

Dean didn't know how to respond, and was silent as Cas put down the rest of his sandwich and left the car. Dean got out slowly, walking after Cas, who was just walking towards the woods and didn't hear Dean in back of him.

"Cas?" he called out. "Cas, turn around."

Castiel only quickened his pace, although not running, and not turning around. Dean started running after him, and grabbed onto his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he demanded to know, spinning Cas around.

"Leave me the fuck alone, would you?" Cas snarled, trying to squirm free of Dean's grip.

"Yeah, sure, as soon as you tell me why you flipped out just because I asked if you're smart," Dean shot back.

"None of your business, okay? For these past few days I've constantly been under the impression that you hate me and want nothing to do with me, so how about you go and take care of those fucking animals so you can get your community service done and over with and won't have to deal with me."

Dean wasn't fazed by this, as he came back with, "I just asked you if you were smart, how the hell was I supposed to know that'd make you upset?"

"Just.. Just leave me alone, would you? Nothing you need to concern yourself with. You'd think of you of all people would get personal space."

Dean slowly let go of Cas's shoulder, before walking back to his car and throwing out their trash. When asked where he was, Dean quickly made the excuse he was feeling a bit sick and had gone to the bathroom, which everyone bought. When Dean left, he had no idea where Cas was; he simply drove home and saw no new messages or missed calls from Cas for the rest of the day.


	6. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with school so I can finally focus on this and have more chapters up more often than not, but anyways, thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

"Would you get off your phone and help me?" Dean had half a mind to just snatch it from Cas' hands and throw it at the wall, or out the window.

"Would you get off my dick?" Cas retorted, rolling his eyes.

"We need to clean the cage-"

"We _just_ did that yesterday!"

"Well we need to fucking do it every day, now come help me before we get in even more trouble."

Dean had found Cas laying on his front lawn earlier that morning, and it didn't take much coaxing for him to wake up and go to the community center; only a promise to have a meal together later that night, which Dean regretted more than words would allow him to say, but he was a man of his words, or at least he tried to be.

"Are you going to tell me what you ended up doing yesterday?" Dean asked. Cas acted like he didn't hear Dean, continuing to move the guinea pigs.

"Awesome." Dean sighed, pinching the top of his nose.

"I fail to see why it concerns you-" Cas began to say before he was cut off.

"What do you mean, why it concerns me? You go running off into the woods like you're fucking Pocahontas, and I'll bet that you were seeing the colors of the wind as well-"

"It is none of your business, and that's that." Cas replied, as Dean scowled, wondering why he was getting so flustered to begin with.

* * *

"Pick me up at seven, alright?" Cas instructed, quickly brushed his hand over Dean's, giving it a slight squeeze, and then hopping out of the car. Dean rolled his eyes before driving back to his house, deciding to take a shower and watch some TV beforehand.

He took a shower and saw it was only 3:51, and had a little over two hours until he had to pick Cas up. He walked downstairs to see Mary in the kitchen, starting to make dinner.

"Hey, mom, I'm going out tonight," he called out as he walked past the kitchen.

"Now hold on young man, what do you mean you're going out?" Mary asked, and Dean turned around, walking back into the kitchen where she stood, hands on her hips with a semi-bitchface.

"I'm going out to dinner," Dean replied slowly.

"With who?"

Dean looked sheepishly, before responding, "With Cas."

"Dean, are you seeing this young man-"

"No! No, not at all, it's just dinner.. it's a long story."

Mary looked suspicious, before sighing. "You know, it's okay if you're into that. You don't have to lie or cover up for anything you're doing,"

"But I'm not."

"Well, what time are you leaving?" she asked.

"A little before seven."

"So be it," Mary replied. "Just be safe. And if there's anything you need to tell me-"

" _Mom_ ," Dean groaned.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop," she smiled.

Dean groaned again, before walking towards the living room, where he ended up watching Dr. Sexy for a good two hours. He glanced over to the clock and saw it was 6:40, and decided to leave the house then, because it was better to be early than late. He kissed his mother goodbye as Sam, John, and her sat down for dinner, and got in his car and drove to Cas's, surprised he wasn't questioned about where he was going by either John or Sam.

"Hey, babe," Cas told Dean as he slid into the car, wearing different clothes, this time a black dress shirt with a white bowtie, suspenders, and the usual black pants and shoes.

"Not your babe," Dean mumbles. "So, where are we going?"

"We should go to Denny's," Cas replied.

"Really, Denny's?"

Cas looked over to Dean, before smiling. "What, were you expecting this to be an actual date? Fine then, let's go to Red Lobster."

"I wasn't thinking this was a date-"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You sounded so disappointed; is it because you only go to Denny's when you don't know what to do with your life anymore after midnight, and you go to places such as Red Lobster on an important date?"

They didn't speak anymore, Cas with his smug grin, as some Zepplin played in the background, Dean scowling. They pulled into the parking lot, and entered the building, Cas trying to grasp Dean's hand, and Dean pulling away. They quickly got a table, Cas intertwining his legs with Dean's, as the waitress gave them an odd look.

"For the last time, I'm straight," Dean insisted, trying to pull his leg away. "You seem so desperate it hurts, dude."

"Desperate? Oh, please, I could have anyone I want. I just enjoy toying with you and exploring your sexuality. Is that so wrong?"

"Yeah, it is."

Cas rolled his eyes, before picking up his menu, not saying another word about it, but not letting go of Dean's legs either.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened the other day when you stormed off?"

Cas looked up, looking defeated, almost. He looked down, and then back up, before sighing. "I guess I have to since you won't let up about it?"

"This is the second time I asked."

"I ran off into the woods, got lost, smoked, somehow ended up on my front lawn. I don't remember much." Cas explained.

"That's it?"

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. Something worse?" Dean retorted.

"Well, who knows. I blacked out, and I could have done a _lot_ worse," Cas replied, slightly annoyed.

The waitress came back around to get their orders, bringing their drinks and then saying they should have a half hour wait.

"Do you ever remember what you do?" Dean asks as she walks away.

"Not always, but usually." Cas paused, fidgeting in his seat. "Although, sometimes it's better just not to remember-"

"Hey, kiddo! Didn't expect to see you here," a rather short man with shoulder length brown hair and a lollipop stick sticking out of his mouth told Cas, wrapping his arm around Cas' shoulder, bringing him in close. He looked over to Dean, before grinning.

"Hello, Gabriel," Cas replied, smiling somewhat.

"This your date?" Gabriel asked, walking over to Dean, reaching out to shake Dean's hand. He took it cautiously, curious as to who Gabriel was, exactly.

"He is indeed, although he won't admit it to you. Who are you currently here with?" Cas asked.

"Kali, as well as Luci, Michael, and Raphael, oh, and a girl Lucifer brought." Gabriel paused, before smirking. "The girl he brought spilled her drink on Kali, so they're in the bathroom right now trying to dry it. After they get out, we're bouncing,"

Cas' eyes widened, before grinning back. "I don't think pissed even begins to describe how Kali probably looks right now."

"Nah, not at all, although, I have seen her madder. Speaking of my devil, there she is," Gabriel motioned towards a group of people; Dean glanced over and saw a rather pissed off Indian looking woman, who he presumed to be Kali, as well as another girl who looked overly embarassed, a man's arm wrapped around her. The man, presumed to be Luci, looked rather devious and entertained, a few scars on his forehead and temples which Dean was slightly curious as to how they came to be. He continued to look and saw the tallest of them, a man around his height, with blue eyes and brown hair, and another with black hair and brown eyes.

"Look at who I found! Cassie's on a date," Gabriel motioned for them to come, which they did. Luci ruffled Cas' hair, smirking as he looked over to Dean, and back to Cas.

"Never thought I'd see the day you went on an _actual_ date," the blue-eyed brother told Cas.

"What, have you gained the courtesy to actually take them out before you fuck them?" Luci asked, his grin getting even bigger.

"Luci, that's not appropriate to be saying out in public, especially so loud," the brown-eyed brother hissed.

"I'm not his date," Dean objected, although he doubted they heard him.

"Well, you're important enough for Cassie to take out on a date. I'm Luci, that's Mikey," Luci pointed towards the blue-eyed brother, "And that's Raphie."

"We better leave Cassie and his date alone," Gabriel told Luci, before wrapping his arm around Kali. "Take care of Cassie, would you?" he said rather quietly, so only Dean could hear him, before smiling again and walking off with the rest of his siblings. Then, Luci turned around and yelled, "Hey kid, what's your name again?"

"Dean!" Cas yelled back, before Luci smirked, and walked off with the rest of them.

"They're all older?" Dean asked, Cas nodding, a few stares here and there.

"Yes, and Anna is the baby of the family."

"I've always wondered what it's like to have a big family, I only have Sam and my parents, and I guess Adam. We've been friends for forever, I guess, and he's practically family. Same with Jo," Dean replied.

"It has its ups and downs," Cas simply replied, as their food was brought out and placed in front of them.

"Enjoy! Tell me if you need anything," their waitress informed them before walking off. Both of them had ordered burgers and started to dig in, not saying much until both of them were practically done and ready to go. Dean paid for the bill, and the two walked out in silence.

"So, how did you like our date?" Cas teased.

"It wasn't a god damn date," Dean insisted. "For the last time, I don't like dick."

"You're ever-so-in-denial it _hurts_ ," Cas replied, as they walked to the parking lot. Dean glared, before pushing Cas up against a wall, slamming his head against the side of the building.

"Listen here," he started. "I'm _not_ gay and I don't know what your obsession with implying I am is, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, can it, would you?" Cas rolled his eyes. "Do you not realize how close we are right now? You could have easily told me this while we were walking. Do you have a thing for taking control? I bet you like it rough."

Dean tried his best to just let go of Cas and walk off without punching him, but of course, Cas followed and got into the car with him.

"You're quiet because you _know_ I'm right."


	7. Wonderwall

Dean was fed up with Cas and didn't see him until Monday, and even then, he didn't want to see him at all. Cas got into his car without a word, and both were silent, one grunt answers if anything. It was like that the rest of the week, and by Friday, Dean was wondering what was wrong with Cas. He came to pick Cas up, drop him off, and at work, they did everything in silence. As Dean drove to get Cas, he tried to think; what could upset him?

As Cas got in the car, he was on his phone, not paying any attention to anything else, but Dean didn't pull out of the driveway right away.

"What're you waiting for?" Cas asked, not looking up.

"Look, I just wanted to know what's wrong-"

"Why in the _actual fuck_ do _you_ care?"

Dean was startled, and looked over to Cas, who was now staring at him. "Well.. we're.. we're friends?"

Cas was the one to look alarmed now, but only looked away. "It's none of your business."

"Yeah, it sorta fuckin' is. So, if you could just go ahead and tell me what's wrong, that'd be awesome."

Cas glared at Dean, before throwing up his hands. "My best friend is pregnant, alright?"

"Is it yours?" was Dean's first question.

"No, idiot, best friend, not girlfriend. There's a difference. And it's just stressing me out, okay? Leave it at that. She's in no way ready to be a mom, and the father is a deadbeat who one of these days is gonna get busted for drugs. He already has a few warnings, and it's just a lot to take in, alright?"

Dean felt geniunely bad for Cas, putting his hand on top of Cas'. "Well, who's the mom?"

"Meg, Meg Masters. She's only a few weeks pregnant, so she should give birth some time around May or June, I guess. Which yeah, _seems_ like a long time, but I don't know. She might just get an abortion but I just.." Cas trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.

"What can I do to make it better, though?" Dean asked.

"I don't know!" Cas exclaimed, overwhelmed. "I don't know what to do. It's not mine but I'm just scared for her and I don't know what to do I just..."

Dean unbuckled and pulled Cas into a hug, his head resting on Dean's chest as he patted Cas' head, ruffling his hair a bit. Cas' breathing hitched, and although he wasn't crying, he was shaking a bit, as he wrapped his arms around Dean, their breathing starting to synchronize as they sat there like that for a good few minutes, before Cas murmured, "We're going to be late, Dean," and the two broke away.

* * *

They had discussed Cas going to Dean's house to spend the night, and they'd order a pizza or something and play video games or whatever Cas wanted to do. It made him a bit better, and that was all Dean cared about. When they got out of work, Cas quickly stopped at his house and got some clothes and whatever else he needed, putting it all in his school bag, and then coming back out.

"Are you sure your parents won't mind?" he asked, his attitude and sass completely gone.

"Yeah, I'm sure. After all, I'm sure they want to meet you, anyways," Dean replied.

"Do they think that I'm-"

"Listen, Cas, don't worry about it. Even if they kick you out, which I highly doubt, we can go drive around town and sleep in the car, okay? Or you could just sneak into through my window again."

This made Cas smile, as he put his hand over Dean's. Dean didn't mind too much, as long as Cas was happy. It was a lot to take in, or so Dean thought. He could make an exception. They pulled into the driveway, and entered the house, the only people home being Mary and Sam.

"I'm home!"

"Oh, Dean, good, you're here," Mary called back, going to see him, before stopping when she saw Cas. "Oh," she simply stated, staring at Cas. Her eyes raked over his black hair, eyeliner, and generally all black clothing, from his beanie to his Dr. Martens. Dean couldn't exactly blame her, but wished she would stop.

"Mom, this is Cas, and he's going to be spending the night," Dean told Mary, as Cas only looked down at his feet.

"Oh, this is Cas?" Mary asked slowly. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Cas, and it's nice to see you and Dean have put aside your differences. I just came to tell you your father and I will be going to a party tonight, and I put dinner in the oven. Jo, Adam, and Alfie are also here. They're in your room,"

"Alright, thanks mom," Dean replied, before walking upstairs to his room, Cas in tow. He knew Jo, Adam, and Alfie would be waiting for him, for what, he didn't know, but was anticipating their reactions. He opened his bedroom and there they were, just has he had pictured it.

"Hey Dean!" Alfie began, but stopped when he saw Cas. "Uh.."

"This is Cas, and he's going to be spending the night. I don't know if my mom told you guys, but she's going to a party so I can't really go out anywhere unless Sammy wants to, too." Dean replied, taking off his shoes as Cas did the same, putting his bag near the door. He glared at the rest of them, and Dean could just feel the attitude building up.

"Oh, we were just gonna ask if you wanted to see a movie but.." Adam began, before Cas cut him off.

"Oh, yes, before you saw I was here. How _pleasant_ ," Cas rudely replied, sarcasm dripping off of every word. "Before you saw the fucking weird-ass fag was here, how polite of you all. If you don't mind, I'll leave your presence so that you can tell Dean how you didn't mean any of that and I'm putting words in your mouth, when everyone knows it's what you would say if you had no filter on what you say." and with that Cas left, as Dean tried to call out, "Cas, wait," but was too late.

"Well, that boy is somethin' else," Jo replied, before standing up with Adam and Alfie. "We'll call you or somethin', don't be a stranger just because you aren't going to school right now. Have fun dealin' with that," and with that she left with the two.

Dean stood around for a minute, trying to assess what had happened, before going downstairs trying to find Cas.

"Cas?" he called out, quickly checking the kitchen and dining room, before he heard Sam laugh and Cas' low voice laughing with it. He entered the living room and saw the two sitting on the couch together, watching TV, Dr. Sexy to be specific.

"What're you two laughing at?" Dean inquired, still standing.

"Your huge crush on Dr. Sexy," Sam replied.

"But I don't have one, it's just a TV show, Sammy!" Dean replied, getting flustered.

"I told you, Dean," Cas teased, as Dean rolled his eyes.

"So, what did you wanna do, Cas?" Dean asked.

"Play some video games or watch some TV maybe?" Cas replied, clearly quite comfy next to Sam on the couch.

"Alright," Dean agreed.

They watched some more Dr. Sexy, Cas making jokes about Dean liking it so much every commercial break. John had come home, but hadn't looked into the living room, probably since Mary hadn't informed him Cas was there. John and Mary left as soon as he got out the shower, and that left the three of them home alone.

"Dean, I'm hungry," Sam complained, as it rained outside, the drops coming down heavy and hard, and a bit of thunder and lightning here and there.

"As am I. Do you think the food your mother has prepared us is done?" Cas inquired.

"It should be, she might have actually taken it out," Dean replied, getting up and out of his chair, and walking into the kitchen with Sam and Cas. He opened up the oven and assessed the chicken, deeming it fully cooked, and put it on the stovetop.

"Mom said there's also rice in the fridge that we just have to reheat," Sam told Dean. And then, the power went out.

"Great." Dean remarked, pulling open a drawer and getting out a candle.

"I have my lighter, hold on," Cas told Dean, getting it out of his pocket and lighting the candle. It wasn't much but it'd do, as Dean thought about what to do.

"Okay, so just chicken?" he asked.

"I guess," Sam replied, getting out plates and utensils as Dean started cutting the chicken. "What are we going to do now?"

"Do you have board games?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, Monopoly I think. I don't know if I'm in the mood to ruin our friendship though," Dean replied.

"No, it's fine, I'd like to play," Cas replied.

The three lit some more candles, placing them in the kitchen and living room, and ate dinner. They got Monopoly set up in no time, Sam being the banker, stating that Dean was a cheater and stole from the bank. In the end, it was really not fair at all, Sam owning all the Railroads, as well as having two monopoly's, and Dean and Cas constantly in debt, scheming against Sam, trading properties to try to overtake him, but never succeeding. At the end of the first game, Sam informed them he had to go do some homework and would be upstairs, and did so, leaving the two downstairs. They played two more games, Cas winning the first one, and the second one coming to a stalemate, the two agreeing to leave it for tomorrow in case they wanted to play and that they'd just go to bed, since it was rather late after all.

They had to go to the kitchen first to put away the chicken, when Cas spotted some beers in the fridge.

"Come on, don't you want one?" he asked Dean. "Takes the edge off, plus, we're just going to bed. No harm done."

"I guess?" Dean replied, taking one for himself, thinking no harm could really be done. Cas opened both of them, and took a long sip of his.

"So, Sam's really something," Cas told Dean. "Smart and funny, pretty much everything you've ever described him as,"

"Yeah, he really is," Dean replied, taking a sip of his. He had drank before here and there, but it wasn't as good as it was now. All alone with Cas, no power, but still, it was nice to be in his presence and be himself.

"I wonder if your parents have power. They probably do, seeing as how they haven't come home yet," Cas hypothesized.

"Probably," Dean replied, before realizing Cas hadn't exactly made a rude remark yet, which was a bit of of character. He decided not to mention it, feeling as though he'd ruin the vibe they had going.

The two finished their drinks quickly, and stumbled upstairs, getting into their pajamas, which was a t-shirt and boxers for the both of them.

"You could sleep on the couch or in here," Dean told Cas.

"I'll take in here, I'm too damn tired to go all the way downstairs and make a bed on the couch," he mumbled, climbing in and getting under the sheets. Dean blew out the candles and climbed in, a bit weirded out, realizing he was about to sleep in the same bed as Cas, but at that point, really couldn't care. He passed out the second he got comfortable, and in the morning, was greeted by a surprise.


	8. Disenchanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo this is the longest chapter yet, I'm hoping to maybe draw some artwork for this soon or something  
> http://dweebcastiel.tumblr.com/ This is my tumblr if anyone's interested, and any art will be posted there

Dean had woke up to Cas, pressed against him, with the hardest erection Dean had ever felt. He didn't know what to do, as Cas was all tangled around him, and to his dismay, the touching wasn't exactly a one way street, so to say. Dean's arms were wrapped around Cas' waist, and the two were basically cuddling. Dean tried moving slightly, but this only made Cas stir and slowly open his eyes. When he did, he did a quick scan of around him.

"'Morning, babe," he told Dean, grinning.

"Dude, get off," Dean insisted.

"Yeah, yeah," Cas replied, slowly untangling their limbs. He rolled over to his side of the bed, while Dean got up. "How many times am I gonna tell you? You're hopeless, no faith whatsoever."

"You can tell me all you want, I know how I feel and that's all that matters." Dean replied. He looked over to his alarm clock and saw it was blinking, a sign that the power turned back on.

Cas sighed, getting up and going to his bag, getting out his toothbrush and clothes, and following Dean to the bathroom. They brushed their teeth together in silence, and after Dean left the bathroom Cas took off last night's make-up and re-applied it, as well as got dressed; vice-versa Dean did as well.

"Well, I have nothing to do today, except go to Anna's concert," Cas told Dean.

"Oh yeah, that's today?" Dean asked, and Cas nodded.

"Would you like to go to it? We can go backstage before it starts, and also pick out our seats if you'd like," Cas informed Dean.

"I don't really know if I'm into that kind of stuff, to tell you the truth," Dean replied.

Cas shrugged. "It's nice to go and support her. Mike and Ralphie don't care for her type of music, and Gabe's indifferent, Luci and I being the only ones who really like it besides the fact she's in it, but they all still go to just about all of her concerts. Not forcing you, though,"

"Well, I guess, I just don't like concerts all that much, or at least how I'm picturing one of hers to be," Dean replied.

Cas stretched as he told Dean, "They're not bad, princess. Anyways, do you have anything to eat? I'm starving."

The two ventured downstairs to make pancakes, where they saw a rather tired Mary sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. She looked up as they entered the room, a slight frown as she said morning to them both.

"Is Sammy up? I was gonna make breakfast," Dean told Mary.

"Dean, you never cook," Mary gently reminded him. "And no, he isn't but he can get up now."

"Yeah, but how hard could it be?" Dean retorted.

"I know how to cook if you'd prefer," Cas informed Dean.

"But you're the guest," Dean objected.

"Have you heard of something called cooking together?" And there it was; the sass had returned.

The two entered the kitchen as Cas asked where the pancake mix was, and Dean got all the necessary ingredients out.

"Dean, could you come here?" Mary's voice traveled to the kitchen, and Dean's stomach stirred a bit. He walked into the dining room, where he saw her sitting.

"How long is that boy staying for?" she asked, a plain expression on her face although it was somewhat forced.

"He's just having breakfast mom," Dean retorted.

"Look, I just don't like how he's the one that got you into this mess, this could look bad for colleges and you've already missed a few games, plus, I feel like there's something you're not telling me about you and him," Mary started, but Dean already heard enough. He'd been beating himself up over the entire thing for almost two weeks now and knew everything she had to say, as superior and ignorant as it sounded off the bat. He had thought about it long and hard; yeah, he didn't like the fact at first Cas was a complete asshole and sass dripped from everything he said, and he got him into this stupid suspension to begin with. That was understandable. But if anything the past day had shown Dean that yeah, underneath all of that douchebag, there was an actual person with feelings and the sort. Dean wasn't into girly shit like feelings to go too indepth about it, but yeah, he knew he shouldn't be warming up this much to the idiot, but he was. Maybe not enough to hang around him as much as they were once the whole community service thing blew over, but.. god, this was hard to think about.

"Mom, I get it." Dean told her, before turning around to join Cas in the kitchen. He was currently finishing stirring the batter, smiling as Dean came in.

"Babe, I can show you how to actually make pancakes," Cas told Dean, although it wasn't loud enough for Mary to hear.

"Still not your babe," Dean mumbled, watching as Cas prepped the pan, putting a bit of butter in it.

"Well, didn't know this was Denial Street. Continuing, you just gotta put a ladel of batter in for one pancake, wait till you see the bubbles, then you flip it. It's pretty easy," Cas told Dean. He gestured for Dean to do it, Dean clumsily picking up the ladel and putting a bit in the pan, although he did get batter everywhere from it dripping. Cas got out a paper towel and wiped it down, before picking up the spatula.

"Alright, there are some bubbles forming. What you gotta do is slowly slide it under the pancake so you don't ruin it, and then flip it over quickly," Cas instructed, giving Dean the spatula. He tried sliding it under but was ruining the side of the pancake, which led to Cas holding the spatula with him, his hand covering Dean's, as he carefully yet quickly slid it under and flipped the pancake.

"So now, get out a plate and the first one will be done," Cas told Dean. He did so, and was able to flip the pancake from the pan to the plate without Cas' help, and was able to make about five more before the batter ran out and Cas insisted that was enough. They sat in the living room and ate, Sam coming down and giving them a skeptical look, but having the two pancakes left over, eating in the dining room while Mary got ready and left for work.

"What now?" Dean asked, as Cas shrugged.

"Well, I don't have any school work since I finished it all, and we can go to Anna's concert at five, and it starts at eight or so." Cas replied.

The two spent the rest of the day watching TV, a bit of Dr. Sexy which made Cas snicker. Dean did wonder where his parents were and if he even texted them to tell them where he was, but decided to not ask, feeling as though it might be a sensitive subject. They asked Sam if he wanted to come along, and he shrugged, saying why not, although said he didn't wanna go out in the crowd and would rather just stay backstage the entire time.

At five the three left in the Impala, Cas sitting up front and Sam in the back, which Sam made a comment under his breath about him being the only one to sit up front with Dean, but only Cas heard it. They drove to the somewhat local theatre, which was somewhat impressive, seeing as how more famous musicians and preformers used it. They parked near the entrance, and walked into the building and straight backstage where a girl with rather red hair was standing, as well as all of Cas' siblings and a few other people Dean didn't know. When they heard the three enter, all of them turned to look, Anna's face lighting up.

"Cassie!" she almost shouted, running towards him and hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, smiling a bit. "You even brought some friends I see," she pulled away from the hug, looking over to Dean and Sam. "Who are you? And come meet the band,"

"Dean, this is my little brother Sam," he told her, as she brought him in for a hug, as well as Sam. Three others walked towards them, and Anna stepped back.

"Well, these are the rest of the Empire. This is Balthazar who plays the guitar, Bela who plays the drums, and Lilith who plays the bass." she introduced.

"Nice to meet all of you," Dean told them, as they all said it back, although he heard Bela and Balthazar have accents and wondered if they were related or something of the sort. He decided not to ask, as Luci and Gabriel came running over as they spotted Sam.

"Woah, is this your brother?" Gabriel asked.

"Yeah, his name is Sam," Dean replied, as Gabriel and Luci looked over him, ruffing up his hair a bit.

"What a little cutie pie," Luci gushed.

"Lucifer, stop touching the kid. That could be considered pedophilia." Mike called out, as Dean jumped.

" _Lucifer_?" Sam asked.

"Yep! My parents insisted that we all have holy names. For example, Anna's actual name is Anael, but she prefers Anna," Luci replied. "Why, does that scare you?" getting closer to Sam's face, as Cas started talking to everyone, and Luci and Sam went off to the side.

"Not really, it's just an unusual name," Sam answered, making Luci smile.

"You have a phone, kid?" he asked, Sam nodding. He took it out and Luci took it, turning it on and entering his phone number, as well as his actual name, Lucifer. "There you are," he smiled once more, before ruffling Sam's hair and going to join everyone else, Sam in tow.

"So, are you two dating?" Balthazar asked Dean and Cas, making Dean's eyes widen slightly.

"No, no, not at all," Dean replied, a bit too quickly.

"Well, what about you, little boy? Are you seeing anyone?" Lilith asked Sam. Sam looked up from his phone, before putting it away.

"I think I was, but not anymore," Sam replied, which was news to Dean.

"Oh, what happened?" Anna asked.

"Dunno, I liked her I guess, her name was Ruby and she was nice," Sam began, before glancing over to Dean, and then back to Anna. "But she was mean to everyone else and did drugs I guess. She told me all the time about this woman named Abaddon who supplied her and that it might be dangerous for me if I stayed around any longer, since apparently there's going to be a drug war or something like that between her and Crowley and she didn't want me to get into it," _Abaddon? Why was that name familiar?_ Dean wondered, as everyone listened with intent.

"Yeah, that's sort of been going on though, a few people getting beaten up here and there," Cas told Sam. "Nothing _too_ serious, but there's some tension in the air and who knows what's going to happen. The thing is, Abaddon wants to be on top, when Crowley has been here for ages, and that's not setting well with anyone,"

And then it clicked. The day in the alley, the first thing Cas had said to Dean. Dean had the urge to just leave the place now and yell at Cas, yell at him and how stupid he was, but that'd be making a scene.

"You shouldn't be associated with that to begin with," Raphie told Cas, who only shrugged in return.

"I'm going out to have a smoke," he told everyone, and left as Dean trailed him, Sam staying behind. The second they got outside, Dean went off.

"You one of Abaddon's, coming to finish the job?" Dean told Cas, who almost dropped his cigarette in the process.

"Listen, babe, I didn't think you'd remember that-" Cas started, but was cut off.

"No, you listen here you douchebag, I know I'm not the fucking model poster child for whatever you wanna call this," he started, gesturing towards Cas, "But why in the actual fuck would you be doing drugs and get yourself into this? Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? What about the people that _actually_ give a fuck about you like Anna or Gabriel? Do you ever just stop and think about how mother fucking self centered you are? What do you think is going to happen to you? What do you mean who knows what's going to happen next? Is Abaddon gonna hire hitmen just to fucking _kill_ you? Why don't you think of anyone else?"

Dean's eyes were stinging with tears as Cas watched him go off in shock, his mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but he was quiet and still like a statue as Dean continued to tell Cas how he felt.

"It's not fair, it's not fair at all that the one time I fucking decide to help someone and go out on a limb I end up with you and your stupid ass and get suspended because you don't know how to control yourself, and then have to be around you all hours of the day and sleep in the same bed as you and wake up with an erection next to me and us cuddling and it's not fair that the first time I actually care about someone that isn't family it's you, obsessed with drugs and tattoos and piercings and all this weird shit that I couldn't care for, and on top of that you could apparently die any day now seeing as how Abaddon is after you and Crowley or whoever the fuck that is. What am I going to do if you're not here and I have to go to your stupid fucking funeral and think of everything that we went through and your stupid sass and the way you stalked me down and when we went out to breakfast and lunch and dinner and it's just.. It's not fair, Cas, it's not fair at _all_ ," Dean half-sobbed, shaking him as Cas dropped his cigarette and his blue eyes widened.

Cas pulled Dean close, running his fingers through Dean's hair, trying to calm him down.

"Dean, I..." he tried to say, although he was a bit choked up as he rocked Dean back and forth, his shirt getting stained with tears. "It's going to be okay, I promise, I promise, I promise," he murmured, bringing Dean to the bench outside to sit, as it slowly began to start raining.

"It's not fair, Cas," Dean muttered again, as Cas held him tighter.

"I know it's not, that you ended up with a selfish asshole like me, but what are you gonna do?" Cas lightly joked.

Dean eventually stopped crying after a few moments, Cas wiping away his tears. He looked up at Cas, and Cas looked down at him, and yeah, Dean felt maybe it was cliche, but they still kissed. There were no fireworks or anything, and it just.. happened. It was salty and he could barely taste Cas because of the tears, but he didn't really care. He wasn't all too sure of what to do; yeah he was kissed a few times before, mainly by family, but he did go to a few parties and play spin the bottle or whatever, or truth or dare. Before he knew it though, Cas was pulling away, his eyes widening a bit. Dean wanted to kiss him again, to kiss his face, his neck, chest, anywhere he could get, but realized what they had just done and jumped, standing up and taking a few steps back.

"I.. I'm.." Dean tried, but couldn't get the words out.

"Hey, this is quite the cigarette break!" Gabriel called, opening the front door up. "Anna wanted you to come help her with setting up everything,"

"Coming," Cas replied, standing up and walking in, not looking back at Dean, who just stood as the rain came down and soaked him, still in shock.


	9. Sorry

At eight, everyone had already entered the theater and the band was ready to preform. Sam was in the crowd with Luci, while everyone else was backstage, minus Cas, who was somewhere in the crowd, alone.

Dean had gone to his car for a few minutes after Cas left to go help Anna, and when he came back him and Cas refused to look at each other, or interact with one another. Cas didn't even ask him to go into the crowd with him, and so Dean was stuck backstage with the rest of Cas' siblings. He was currently off to the side, able to see the stage, looking out into the crowd for Sam but not spotting him.

"So, you and that idiot?" Gabriel asked, as Mike and Raphie were off getting something to drink.

"What about us?" Dean retorted.

"What did I tell you last time I saw you? Look out for him." Gabriel replied.

"Yeah, well, I did."

"Look, alright. You like him, he likes you. Simple enough, right?" Gabriel asked.

"I'm not gay," Dean retorted.

"Sheesh, I've never seen someone in this much denial," Gabriel smirked. "Listen though, I told you to keep an eye on him for a reason. He's an emotional wreck and just needs someone that isn't as high as he is all the time, or whatever drugs he's doing these days. Do you even know anything about him?" Gabriel asked, rather serious now.

"Yeah, I know he's a pain in the ass, but I've been trying my best, don't tell me I haven't," Dean started, but Gabriel only rolled his eyes.

"Really? Spending a day with him or two is your best? _Sheesh_." Gabriel retorted.

Dean's phone buzzed and he saw it was a text from Sam, and thanked the lord for saving him from this conversation. He walked away from Gabe, texting Sam back.  
  


**Sam: when are you going home? are you taking Cas?**

_Dean: right after maybe. idk about cas hes in the crowd and can find his own damn ride_

**Sam: so get this luci wanted to get some taco bell since i haven't eaten**

_Dean: thats fine just be careful and come right home do u want me to come with u_

**Sam: I'll be fine its just taco bell plus I have my phone if mom asks just tell her i went out with my friend**

_Dean: ok be safe sammy check in with me when you get home_

**Sam: thanks dean see you then**

 

Dean didn't feel all too good about letting Sam go off on his own, but he couldn't control his entire life and he needed some freedom. He realized he didn't have dinner either, but there was some frozen pizzas at home he could have. He watched as Anna, Balthazar, Lilith, and Bela come onto the stage, and went back to stand with Gabriel.

"Hello! Holy hell, there are a lot of god damn people here," Anna spoke into the mic, making a few people cheer, others laugh.

"Oh, Anna, you make it sound like you have no faith in us," Bela told her, a sly smile on her face.

"Yeah, come on, Anna! Have a little faith! You _are_ the angel here, if I'm not mistaken," Balthazar insisted.

"As are you," she replied, before smiling at the crowd.

"I'm sure these people would prefer hearing the music as to hearing you three bicker over faith and angels," Lilith told them, making a few more laugh.

"Well, tonight is rather special anyways! There are a couple important people here and I won't mention names but I'd like to thank you for coming, as well as everyone else here!" Anna told everyone, making everyone cheer as she stole a glance at Dean, who gave her a slight smile and wave. "So, without me fucking babbling for the rest of my natural life, how about we get this started?"

The crowd cheered louder than they had the past few minutes, as Anna spoke into the mic for the last time. "Starting off with a nice little love song is always nice, so here's Holy Hell!"

Dean personally enjoyed the song, something about a man afraid of flying and an angel afraid of falling, yet they ended up together, or so it seemed from what he understood. He couldn't see Sam, Luci, or Cas in the crowd, but stood next to Gabriel, who kept looking over to him, but not saying anything. For one, they'd both probably be shouting over the music, and two, there was really no point. Dean knew where he stood, and that was final.

The show ended somewhere around nine, and Dean headed out to his car, saying goodnight to the band as well as Cas' siblings, not staying around for anyone. He made sure Sammy was okay, before going home and popping a microwave pizza in and only eating half of it, his appetite nowhere to be found. He decided to just shrug out of his clothes and go to bed, thinking only one more day with Cas.

* * *

Sunday was boring; a few people texted him but he didn't bother texting back, lazing around watching TV, Sam seeming chipper than usual but Dean didn't notice. It went by slowly yet quickly, Dean getting nothing actually done, he realized, as he climbed into bed. Last day with Cas, was the only thing on his mind before sleep hit him.

* * *

"So are we just not going to talk about it?" Cas asked as Dean drove him home. Dean had come to pick Cas up and they didn't talk, just like how the past week had been.

"No, we're not." Dean replied.

"You're hopeless."

Dean pulled over on the side of the road, glaring at Cas. "What in the actual fuck do you want me to say, huh?"

"I don't know, something along the lines of an explaination as to what the fuck was yesterday?"

"It was stupid and I don't wanna fuckin talk about it." Dean replied.

"Why? Why's that? Because you just admited the biggest fucking thing yesterday, and you're scared? What are you scared of? Being gay? Liking me? Well I'm fucking sorry, princess, but your feelings are your feelings and you can't change them no matter how much you try. You don't want to know how much I tried to change myself over the years because of my god damn parents, or people at school, but you know what I learned from Luci? Who even gives a fuck, after I graduate I'll end up away from them, maybe too high to even remember who I am, too drunk to even know a single thing, maybe on the side of the road dead or something like that, or maybe killed by Abaddon, who even knows! A worthless thing like me doesn't even deserve anything to begin with, so why are you even here at this point?" Cas went off, Dean sitting and the words swirling around in his mind.

"But whatever, I'm leaving, since I'm not good enough for you, like you said yesterday. Maybe I'll get hit by a car or get picked up by some serial killer," Cas spit out, opening the car door and getting out, then hopping over the railway and walking into the forrest. Dean wanted to run after him, to hold him and tell him he didn't mean it, he was sorry, he was wrong, they were both wrong, but he just sat in his car, looking, watching, until he could see Cas no more.

* * *

"All done with community service?" Sam asked as Dean entered the house, heading to the kitchen.

"Yep," Dean replied, not in the mood to really speak, getting a glass and filling it with water.

"Well, it's a good thing you're here, mom wanted you to go to Missouri's and give her the recipe on the table that she's been asking for. I would come but I'm going out to the movies," Sam informed Dean.

"Alright, you need a ride? What time?" Dean asked.

"No, it's fine, it starts at five, so I'll be home seven at the latest, and I have a ride. Tell Missouri I said hello, though," Sam replied, before leaving to go upstairs.

Dean drank the entire glass of water, before getting out his keys and grabbing the recipe off of the counter. Driving around could help his mind right now, as well as talking to Missouri, so he hopped in his car and was at her house in no time. As he raised his hand to knock on the door she opened it, and motioned for him to come in.

"Boy, you sure do have a lot on your mind," was the first thing she said to him as he handed her the recipe.

"I guess," Dean replied, sitting down in one of Missouri's chairs as she took the one opposite of him.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" she asked, putting the recipe down on the coffee table in front of them.

"I don't know," he replied.

"Something to do with love, I can tell you that right off the bat. What happened, your crush not like you back or something?" Missouri asked.

"No, it's not that at all," Dean began. "They do like me."

"They? You mean he?" Missouri asked. "Is that what all of this is coming down to? You're afraid of being gay?"

"No! I mean.. well.." Dean stumbled over his words, looking up at Missouri and then down.

"Boy, you just told me if he was a girl then you'd have no problem with dating him, which is shallow and I should smack you for," she told him sternly.

"But, I-"

"Listen, honey, there's nothing wrong with liking a man. If you like him, go get him. That's that. So, run along now, go get this young man you like so much," Missouri ushered him out, leaving him somewhat speechless and at a loss for words. He got in his car, and drove around for a while, thinking of what exactly to do; Cas was off in the woods somewhere and didn't want to see his face, so there wasn't much Dean could do.

* * *

"Welcome back, Dean!" a few girls shouted as he walked through the front doors. He smiled and waved at them, as another few came running up to him with a tupperware container.

"We made you some cupcakes, to welcome you back," one of them told him, and he smiled.

"Well that certainly is very nice and generous of you, thank you," he took the container from them and started heading towards his locker to put them away so they wouldn't get ruined in his backpack. He saw Jo there, and she looked like she was about to kick his ass.

"So, you gonna explain to me why you decided to not text anyone back?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"Sorry, just got distracted and the days just went by, I just kinda forgot," he replied, unlocking his locker and putting the container on the highest shelf. He then closed it and faced Jo.

"Well, I gotta go hand in these papers as proof of my community service," Dean told her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Momma wants you over for dinner some time, so text me what night," she called after him as he walked away, shouting a "Yeah I will!" back at her.

He arrived at the office and handed in his papers, the secretary taking them with a smile, before telling him he was all set and could go. He walked outside to the courtyard to get some fresh air when he spotted Cas all alone, in somewhat of a secluded area where no one could really see him, sitting on the ground.

"Go get this young man you like so much," echoed in his mind, as he stood frozen in place, looking around. No one really notcied him, and he took a deep breath, before walking right over to Cas which caused him to look up and frown slightly.

"What're you doing here?" Cas asked, taking out one of his headphones.

"I talked with a friend yesterday," Dean replied, his breath gone.

"And?"

"She gave me some advice," Dean replied.

"What kind of advice?"

"This kind," Dean replied, before crouching on the ground and leaning over to kiss Cas, who kissed back, which wasn't what Dean was expecting. Cas kept kissing him, and before Dean knew it, Dean was sitting in his lap, his hands reaching for Cas' body, feeling it over, as Cas did the same to him. They had to stop though, for it was high school and they couldn't do it all day.

"I like your friend," Cas told Dean softly.

"And I like you," Dean replied, making Cas smile slightly.

"Are you sure you're fine with this? You could get bullied and shit," Cas explained.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine with it. Let me take you out, please," Dean told Cas, their faces close.

"Of course," Cas replied, but paused. "Don't you have games and shit to go to? And practice?"

"Yeah, but not today. I have lacrosse games every Friday," Dean replied. "In the spring I have soccer. Anyways, let me take you out tonight, please,"

"Babe, I already said yes," Cas told Dean, kissing his cheek. "Now come on, you're gonna be late,"

"I'm your babe," Dean told Cas, before kissing him one last time and getting up and heading to class.


	10. Hell and High Water

At lunch, the two sat together, although it was rather odd. No one actually knew they were dating yet, and they sat there like friends, with the rest of Dean's, but it was awkward and no one knew what to say, the air filled with tension.

"So, Castiel," Alfie began. "Is it true your sister is in a band?"

"It's Cas, and yeah, she is, the Empire," he replied, picking at his sandwich.

"What does she do?" Adam asked, his arm around Alfie's waist.

"Sings," Cas replied, before taking a sip of water. He didn't seem uncomfortable, but to Dean, he didn't seem like himself.

"Do they write their own lyrics? I myself have never gotten into that, takes too much talent, but it _does_ seem interesting," Chuck rambled.

Cas smiled at this, as Ash and Jo sat down, next to Becky and Charlie. "Yeah, they do, it's mainly her and Balthazar, but Bela and Lilith help out here and there,"

"Well she must be good, I heard their last concert sold a lot of tickets," Lisa noted.

The conversation was forced, and twenty minutes passed before Cas announced he had to go meet up with a friend, telling Dean he could join him if he wanted to. They threw out their trash and Dean waved bye, as they walked out of the cafeteria and to the courtyard.

"Who are we going to visit?" Dean asked.

"Meg," Cas replied, as he looked down at his phone. "She wanted to meet behind the big tree, just to talk a bit,"

They rounded the corner and saw her standing underneath the tree, looking rather small next to it. She didn't appear to even be pregnant yet, but then again it had only been a month, give or take and the baby was absolutely tiny. She made eye contact with Cas, smiling, and then looked to Dean, which made her smile disappear.

"Who's _this_ , Clarence?" she asked.

"Dean," Cas replied.

"Oh, this is Dean?" she seemed indifferent to him, as he stood there and tried to be as polite as possible.

"Yes, it is," he replied. Cas reached into his pocket for a cigarette, pulling out an entire pack and his lighter.

"Well, Clarence, you could have picked worse," she informed Cas, trying to reach for a cigarette.

"Meg, you can't drink or smoke," Cas reminded her gently.

"It's just one," she insisted, but Cas wasn't going to let up. Dean felt rather awkward watching the whole interaction, but felt like he couldn't walk away, or it'd be rude.

"You can't, you'll harm _you-know-who_. One leads to another, and before you know it, you've smoked an entire pack."

"Well, fine then, be a little sour patch kid without a parent, a sheep without a shepherd, the next time you need help with something," Meg replied, pouting slightly.

"You worry me slightly," Cas replied, lighting one and taking a long drag, blowing the smoke away from her, actually turning around completely to exhale it.

"So, uh, how are you today?" Dean asked, trying to be polite. He wasn't sure if the whole mood swings thing had kicked in yet, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable or for her to not like him.

"What a doll," she noted, smiling. "You even have the eyes of one. I'm doing peachy. How is Castiel's little unicorn today?"

Cas snorted at this, as Dean blushed slightly and turned to Cas. "You told her?" he asked Cas.

"Well, of course, why not? You already know about her," he replied.

"Well," he began, turning back to Meg. "I feel pretty good."

"You worried about any of the assholes here? Or on your team for that matter. You must care what they think," Meg remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"About them finding out? I don't know. I mean, I have friends that are gay, y'know? Adam and Alfie are dating, and so are Becky and Charlie. No one gives them shit, but I'm on teams like you said, so I don't know. But I like Cas, and I guess that's all that matters. I don't think I'd get kicked off of any teams or anything, but for now, I guess we're just keeping it on the down-low," Dean replied, as Cas finished his cigarette. "We haven't actually talked about it."

"Oh, babe, so are you saying we can't do this?" Cas asked, pushing Dean up against the tree and kissing his face all over.

"Dude, no, we can't," Dean replied, trying to push Cas off, but to no avail. Cas moved onto his neck, making Dean want to moan but he kept it inside, for fear people might hear and see, as well as Meg was right there.

"Jesus, keep it in your pants, won't you?" Meg teased, making Cas step back.

"Sort of hard but I'll try," Cas replied, kissing Dean once more.

* * *

Dean planned to take Cas out to the ice rink, although he wasn't sure if Cas knew how to. Dean barely did, but he knew enough to help teach Cas. He had taken a shower as well as texted Cas to bring a hoodie, and that he'd be at his house soon. He put on his shoes and made his way downstairs, right as Mary was finishing up dinner.

"Mom, I'm going out!" he called, but she of course called him into the kitchen.

"Both you and your brother? It's a school night," she sighed.

"What do you mean, both me and Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Your brother is out at the movies with a friend of his, and I didn't even know until he texted me saying he was twenty minutes ago. Will you at least tell me where you're going?" she inquired.

"Um, the ice rink with Cas," Dean replied, hoping she wouldn't get suspicious, although he was more concerned with why the hell Sam was at the movies on a school night with someone.

"When you get back, we're having a talk," Mary told him, making him slightly anxious. "Also, if you happen to see Sam, tell him he's grounded,"

"Will do," Dean replied, before going to the car and driving to Cas'. Who could Sam be hanging around? He wasn't friends with Ruby, and Jess didn't seem the type. There was Kevin, but he didn't exactly seem the type either, or at least, not on a school night.

Cas opened the car door and hopped in, leaning over and giving Dean a few kisses. Dean returned them, although he wasn't too sure how to, seeing as how he hadn't really kissed many people, but it wasn't hard and Cas didn't comment on it.

"So, where to?" Cas asked, as Dean pulled out of the driveway.

"Well, I was thinking the ice rink, and maybe some Burger King after," Dean replied.

"I've never been," Cas replied, taking out his cigarettes and lighting one.

"I have a few times, but never got good at it. If anything, I was sitting on the benches or drinking hot cocoa."

"Was Sam any good at it?" Cas inquired.

"Yeah, I tried helping him out at first, but he was good on his own quickly." Dean explained.

"Sharing a hot cocoa and sitting on the side doesn't sound all _too_ bad," Cas told Dean, putting a hand on his leg gently.

"So, anyways, how're you holding up?" Dean asked. He wasn't sure he was as fine as he appeared to be, seeing as how just a few days ago he was somewhat of an emotional wreck.

"Fine," Cas replied, getting closer to Dean. Dean was new to relationships, new to all of this, and didn't know if they would make it at all. He wasn't sure how much to pry on certain issues, or when to interact with Cas, when to hold his hand, when to kiss him, when to do anything, really. He wasn't uncomfortable with it, just foreign to it, especially since Cas was a guy, as opposed to a girl. As Cas put his head on Dean's shoulder, curling up next to him, Dean tensed up for a moment, before putting his right hand over Cas'.

"You sure?" Dean asked, and Cas nodded slightly. "I mean, I know I'm pretty fucking bad at emotions and all that, but we can still.. we can still talk, you know,"

"Well, what's there even to talk about?" Cas asked.

"I don't know, anything you want, like, has she decided to keep the baby?"

"Yeah, she thinks she can handle it. I tried explaining to her all the costs of it and everything, so just to prove me wrong, I suppose for lack of a better term, she got a job. Not in spite, just to get the money in time before the baby comes. To break it down for you, she's going to need a crib, wipes, diapers, a monitor, maternity clothes, vitamins for herself, changing table, baby clothes, car seat, and of course the hospital costs. $4340 is the total I came up with, and it could be more," Cas explained.

"That's a lot, does she have any money saved up?" Dean asked.

Cas shook his head. "Only for anything she needs from Crowley, and even then, it's only a few hundred. She needs to start budgeting her money, as much as I'd like to help her, I don't know how much I can,"

"Well, it'll be alright, trust me," Dean told Cas, stroking his hand with his thumb, and kissing the top of his head as he pulled into the parking lot.

They got out of the car and walked in, paying for 2 pairs of skates and putting them on. Cas put on his hoodie, and Dean stepped onto the ice, trying to get his balance and a feel for the ice. Cas stepped on gently, taking an immediate grip on Dean's arm.

"Steady now," Dean coddled. "Now, we're probably gonna fall down a lot, so let's try to stay around the edge of the rink."

The two tried getting a feel for the ice, falling down a few times but always getting right back up. They took a break and Dean bought them a large hot cocoa which they shared. There were barely any people there, so they could sneak a few kisses here and there without having to worry, their cold noses brushing against each other as they held each other's cold hands. After they finished their hot cocoa, they skated a bit more, Dean getting the hang of it and pushing Cas around the rink, until finally they decided they'd go out for Burger King. They returned the skates and got in the car, Cas cuddled up against Dean once more.

"So, where is Sam tonight?" Cas asked.

"Movies with a friend, I guess. I don't even know what friends of his have a license, let alone a car, and he keeps on going out. Mom said that he's grounded whenever he comes home," Dean replied.

"That does sound pretty odd. I'd say he's out with Luci, but as far as I know they only went out for Taco Bell the night of the concert. He is the only friend that fits the profile, though," Cas remarked. Dean nearly slammed on the breaks as soon as he realized all of it, but kept calm.

"Luci?" he quietly asked, and Cas nodded. "Sam's only fourteen, how old is Luci?"

"Twenty-one. I'll be eighteen soon, Gabe's nineteen, Raph's twenty, Luci's twenty one, Mike's twenty two. Don't worry about it, they're probably just hanging out. I mean, he's never had that kind of an interest in younger people, and I believe he still is dating the same girl from when we saw them at dinner. Nothing to worry about," Cas replied. "Well, maybe except for the fact he is a _bit_ of a bad influence."

"If you say so." was all Dean muttered, in denial that that'd even happen to begin with. Sam even _liking_ Luci that much? Since when did Sam even have an _interest_ in men, let alone men that could legally drink. He was probably just out with one of his friends. Or at least, that's all Dean could hope for.


	11. Sweet Child o' Mine

"Sit down, both of you." Mary instructed both of her boys. They had come home about three minutes apart, Dean first, who insisted on using the bathroom and whilst in it, Sam had arrived.

The two sat next to each other, across from Mary, Sam looking tired and not like his usual self. She had her fingers interlaced as she looked from Sam to Dean, back and forth trying to compose herself.

"I suppose the first thing I should do is ask where you've been, young man." Mary started, looking at Sam.

"Out at the movies," he replied.

"With who?" she shot back.

"Friends," he answered, obviously trying to not give names.

"Samuel Winchester, tell me right now who you were out with," Mary raised her voice but wasn't quite at shouting level, her bitchface at full potential.

"His name is Luci," Sam began, and Dean almost jumped out of his chair as a chorus of I knew it's played in his mind.

"What?" he almost shouted, causing Mary to become even more distressed. "What the hell, Sam? He's almost twenty-one or some shit, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Twenty one?" Mary echoed.

"Listen, I don't need this! Excuse me that I'm young, but why are you yelling at me? Oh, sorry that the guy you hang around," Sam started, making airquotes around hang, "is the same age as you! Well get this, age doesn't actually mean anything and I don't know when you're going to realize this,"

"It does when you're fourteen and he's twenty-one! For gods sake, he's seven years older than you, ever think about that one?" Dean and Sam were now toe-to-toe, in each other's faces. "And don't you even think about bringing Cas into this!"

"Really, why shouldn't I? Do you really think you're that secretive? I saw you at lunch, Dean! How long have you been doing that, huh? Just because you're next to a tree doesn't mean no one can see you!" Sam shot back, making Dean step back.

"Sammy, I-" Dean began, speaking softly now.

"No, listen here, I don't care what you are with Cas, I really don't, just don't lie to all of us when we all know what's going on and I even saw you two kissing! I don't get what the big deal is, I'm only hanging out with him," Sam continued, although this made Dean freeze up.

"You...what?" he said quietly.

"Both of you, stop it," Mary tried, although they were lost in their own world.

"Sam, you haven't been, doing anything with him," Dean began slowly. "He could get arrested for doing anything to you,"

"I just told you I wasn't!" he paused, looking at Dean, and then his mother. "I'm done." Sam stormed up the stairs to his bedroom, slamming the door. Dean looked over to Mary, swallowing hard.

"Do you mind explaining any of this?" she asked, as Dean sat back down.

"Well, uh, like you heard Sam say, Cas and I are.. I don't know, we went out on a date. Anyways, on Saturday the three of us went to his sister's concert, and he met one of Cas' brothers, Luci. I guess they gave each other their phone numbers or somethin', and Sam's been out since, hanging out with him, or so it seems. I don't think Sam would be stupid enough to fall in love with a guy within four days," Dean explained. "Luci is twenty-one, which would explain where Sam has been getting all these damn rides to places from. I just think they're hanging out though, nothing too serious. That's what he just said, anyways."

Mary ran her fingers through her hair. "You do realize I will have to tell your father about this, right? And about you and Cas,"

"Please don't tell him about us, you know how he'd react, it's already enough with Sam and Luci," Dean started, but Mary simply shook her head.

"I can't, Dean, I can't hide these kinds of things from him. Tell you what, how about we have both of them for dinner tomorrow? I won't tell him about Sam and Luci just yet, but after dinner," Mary began, although Dean didn't think that was the best idea.

"If that's what you wanna do, I don't see why not, but I have a feelin' dad will beat the shit out of Luci," Dean told Mary.

"Language," she said pointedly. "Now, go to bed, and check in on your brother, if he'll let you,"

"Okay, night, mom," he told her, kissing her on the forehead. She smiled and he went upstairs, changing into pajamas, and then knocking on Sam's door. When there wasn't a response, he opened the door and saw Sam laying on his bed in his pajamas, phone in hand.

"Sammy?" he called out, causing Sam to look at him. He closed the door behind him, and came over and sat next to Sam.

"What do you want?" Sam asked, putting his phone down, clearly pissed.

"Mom wants to have dinner with Cas and Luci tomorrow," Dean began, making Sam grimace slightly. "She's not going to tell dad about you two yet, but she is going to tell him about me and Cas, and tell him after dinner. Look, I care about you Sam, but I need to know, what have you done with him?"

"Nothing," Sam replied.

"Why do you even wanna be with him? What happened to Jess? Or anyone in your age group."

"If you came in here to talk to me the way mom does when I have problems, you can leave. I'm not stupid and as irresponsible as you think." Sam replied.

"Ouch. Just make sure that he comes tomorrow," Dean told him, before getting up and leaving. He went back to his room and it took a while for him to fall asleep, thinking of everything that could go wrong tomorrow, which was anything and everything. Not only was Dean seeing a boy, it was Cas nonetheless. He didn't strike anyone as responsible, and if anything, was just a drug addict and nothing more. Dean shook his head, trying to forget all of it for a bit so he could just fall asleep, but in the end, texted Cas at two in the morning.

Dean: are u awake?

Cas: yeah whats wrong babe?

Dean: my mom wants u and luci for dinner tomorrow

Cas: dinner? im not feeling it

Dean: what do u mean

Cas: im not into meeting the parents

Dean: well im not too big on the idea either but its to make my mom happy

Cas: i guess. anyways how are u doing babe

Dean: cant sleep

Cas: do u need me to come over

Dean: idk if u want

Cas: ok ill be there in 15 minutes

Dean opened his window, and brought up his chair to sit beside it, waiting for Cas. He got caught up in his thoughts, thinking about how it felt like they were moving too fast, but Dean didn't mind, and just tried to figure out a way for his father to accept him, as well as everyone at school. He sighed, looking down to his phone once more, and saw it had been almost fifteen minutes and Cas should be there. He decided to get up and go to the bathroom, and when he walked back in, Cas was just climbing in through the window.

"Hey, babe," he said, taking off his shoes as Dean closed the door and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him.

"I didn't expect to come over here for something like that," Cas told Dean, as they broke apart, Dean's hands reaching down for Cas'.

"What were you expecting?" Dean asked, as Cas led them to the bed, slightly worried.

"Dunno, just to lay in bed with you, I guess." he replied, laying on Dean's bed, as Dean laid next to him. "So, what's up?"

"My mom found out Sam was sneaking around with Luci, and so we're all having dinner which I'm not looking forward to, but, it's just, Sam, of all people, really?" Dean frowned, curling up as Cas wrapped his arms around him.

"Luci is good at heart, but at times he can be a bit too much. I've never seen him with an interest in younger men, if that assures you at all." Cas replied.

"Sorta," Dean buried his head in Cas's chest, wrapping his arms around Cas. They were like a ball of just limbs wrapped around each other at this point, both arms and legs.

"So, let's not focus on that. That's not our fight." Cas told Dean. "I get he's your brother, but still. You're forgetting that your mother is going to inform your father of us. If anything, I'd be freaking out about that." Dean's breath hitched, and Cas's eyes widened. "That's not to say you should start freaking out now. You were fine until I mentioned it. Let's start simple. How does he feel about gays?"

"He never really mentioned them, which could be a good thing. Never ridiculed them, but never mentioned them." Dean answered.

"So basically indifferent?"

"As far as I know."

"But, how would he feel about his sons being gay? That's often a completely different story. I don't want to say anything about Sam, so let's just say son. How do you think he's going to feel?" Cas wanted to know.

"Probably confused, which will turn to anger. But, my mom will be there, so it won't be all bad. She seemed fine with it when I mentioned it," Dean tried thinking about it. It never crossed his mind, so it was a completely new subject for him to comprehend. He never pictured coming out to his parents, so these events were playing out for the first time in his head.

"Well, how about we don't worry about any of this for now. It'll be okay in the end, I mean, no one can be mad forever." Cas smiled, and although Dean could barely see it, he smiled back.


	12. Hermit the Frog

"You ready, babe?" Cas wanted to know. They had been walking around town, Dean too nervous to sit still anywhere, really. Cas had dressed rather nicely, a dark gray dress shirt, black pants and decent shoes. He had on a black bowtie and black suspenders as well to complete the look, but as for Dean.. he was wearing his every day clothes, too nervous to think about it. Cas had tried calming him down, but understood it was easier said than done.

But now, it was nearly six, and they were coming down Dean's road. Dinner would be ready soon, and they had to get to his house as soon as possible. His father's car was there, as well as his mother's, and even Luci's.

"We're gonna do fine. We're gonna be fine," Cas insisted, holding Dean's hand tighter.

Dean only nodded, shaking slightly. Cas kissed his cheek gently, before walking down Dean's driveway, their fingers interlaced.

Sam opened the door, not looking the best. He looked like he dreaded everything, and said nothing as Dean and Cas took off their shoes. The three of them walked into the dining room, where the plates were set up, and Luci was sitting. John was nowhere to be found, and Mary was in the kitchen.

"Where's dad?" Dean asked, sitting down in his normal spot, which ended up being across from Luci.

"He came home, but I didn't see him. I think he's in the shower right now." Sam replied, sitting down next to Luci. Their parents would sit on either ends of the table, whenever dinner began, anyways. "Maybe you should go see mom, at least."

"Alright," Dean replied, getting up with Cas. They walked into the kitchen, Mary over the stove.

"Oh, Dean, you're home. Hello, Cas," she greeted. She stirred the pasta around, and then the sauce and meatballs.

"Hello," Cas greeted back.

"How's dad doing?" Dean asked.

"He didn't say much," Mary began, turning to face them. "Try not to go too hard on him. He's not going to accept any of this right away, but I've tried easing him into it so far." she sighed, pushing her hair out of her face. "Help me bring this food in," she told Dean and Cas, as she got out a strainer for the pasta. 

Dean took the sauce and meatballs pot and walked back to the dining room, and put it on a potholder. Cas took the tray of garlic bread, and set it down next to the pot. Mary then came in, the pasta in its pot. The forks were already in their spots, laid on napkins next to the plates. John still wasn't downstairs, and Mary rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to go get your father," she told Sam and Dean, before walking upstairs.

"This should be an exhilarating dinner," Luci's voice was dripping with sarcasm, as he rested his head on his hands.

"I'm ever so elated," Cas replied, holding onto Dean's hand under the table.

They then heard footsteps coming down the staircase and ceased talking, Dean's heart pounding. Cas held onto his hand as hard as he could, although he wasn't sure how comforting it was. They made eye contact, and Cas smiled. Dean wanted to lean over and kiss him, and take both of them away from this whole ordeal.

Then, John rounded the corner, followed by Mary, and it was so quiet they could hear just about anything. The two adults sat down, Mary sitting at one end of the table, next to Dean and Luci. John sat at the other end, next to Sam and Cas. He didn't make eye contact, as he started getting pasta out of the pot for himself.

"So, Cas," she began, smiling sweetly. "How are you?"

"I'm doing fine as of late," Cas replied. "And you?"

"I am happy and grateful I have such a wonderful family to eat dinner with," she replied. She looked over to John, who was now getting his sauce and meatballs, and looked unaffected by any of this. "Don't you agree, John?"

"Our family is me, you, Sam, and Dean. I have no idea why this man," he gestured to Luci, "Is also sitting with us. And Castiel," he sneered, "Isn't family either, even if Dean is 'dating' him."

"John," Mary began, sounding stressed. "We talked about this-"

"Yes, you talked." John replied. "And I listened. I don't condone to this, I won't accept it. It's not right, no matter what anyone says. I don't care what states are making this legal, or who says what. I don't want either of my sons being a queer. Not in this household, not under this roof."

"John!" Mary raised her voice, slamming down her fork. Everyone but Luci jumped at the motion, and looked to Mary, who had an expression that implyed she killed for a living. She looked fierce as ever, and Dean was anticipating the words that would come out of her mouth. His grip on Cas's hand tightened, as he looked over to his father.

"What, you don't like me being honest?" John shot back.

"You're being homophobic, and it's unacceptable! I don't care what kind of life you led, if the Marines taught you that gays are wrong, or whatever occurred to make you act like this, but it's not going to happen under this roof. You don't have final say with anything, both of us do. I don't see what the actual issue is, plenty of Dean's friends are gay and you greet them with open arms. But the second he says he likes boys, you throw a fit? How old are you again, John?" Mary began, but John got up, rolling his eyes.

"I'll come back when you won't rip my head off," John informed her, before walking out. They watched him get in his car and take off, although none of them were certain of where he'd go.

"Well, that was certainly over faster than expected," Luci told Mary, before taking a bite of his food.

"We need to talk about the two of you, as well," she informed him.

"Of course, I didn't expect to walk away from this meal without talking about the two of us." Luci wiped his mouth, dabbing at it with his napkin.

"I don't approve of this. Sam is fourteen, you're twenty-one. He needs friends his age, or at least in high school. And the way these two talked about it, it sounded like you two were more than friends." she pursed her lips, looking at the two of them. "I just don't want to get a call home, and have someone say something along the lines of, your son has been doing this or that with you. If you were to wait three of four years for him, that'd be okay, but for now.." she paused. "That is, if you two are seeing each other, or want to. I just don't want that to happen."

"Of course not, miss," Luci replied, his serpent-like eyes coiling around her. "I'd never want to do anything that could get me arrested with him. We only go and watch movies, or go out to eat like friends do. Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen,"

"I hope you two can keep that promise. For now, I suppose you two can hang out, but just not every second of the day. I'd prefer it to be mainly on the weekends, so you don't interfere with school." she informed Luci.

"As you wish, miss," Luci replied.

They had dinner in peace, no one raising their voices, Luci and Cas even making Mary laugh a few times. The only time things took a turn for the worst and was upsetting was when Meg was mentioned.

"So, how is Meg, anyways, Cas?" Luci asked.

"Better than expected," he replied.

"Who's Meg?" Mary wanted to know, as she finished her garlic bread.

"A friend of mine," Cas answered.

"She's due in May or June, something like that," Luci informed Mary.

"Due? She's pregnant?" Mary had an upset expression on her face.

"I've been trying to convince her to get an abortion, but she says she wants to have it. She feels like it's what she wants to do. For now, I've been trying to help her budget her money and try to prepare.. though at the same time I'm trying to convince her to get rid of it. It's a very difficult thing to deal with." Cas replied.

"Well, at least she has someone like you," Mary smiled. 

And that was that.


	13. Deathbeds

"Happy birthday!"

Dean ran up and hugged Cas, who was currently standing in the Winchester's doorway, in complete shock. It was December 24th, and Cas's birthday. Meg, Adam, Luci, Michael, Jo, Ash, Chuck, Charlie, Raphael, Gabriel, Anna, Balthazar, Kali, Becky, Lilith, Bela; everyone was there.

Not much had changed over the two months or so, except Dean told his friends who were pretty much indifferent to the idea of him dating Cas. They welcomed him and they all ate lunch together, Meg included. Dean's friends knew of Meg's pregnancy, but didn't say much, once more. It wasn't their decision, and none of their business.

Dean didn't notice too much of a difference when everyone at school finally found out he was dating Cas. Sure, girls stopped hitting on him constantly (there was still one or two) but it was okay, and he didn't miss it. Instead, they talked to him like he was a normal human being.

John was.. well, being John. He didn't accept the idea, but, at least now, Cas could eat dinner with them and he wouldn't throw a fit. He was practically indifferent at this point. He didn't call Dean any names, nor Cas.

And of course, Luci and Sam were just friends, only hanging out on the weekends, as they had discussed. Dean wasn't aware of anything going on between them, so that was good at least.

"What's all of this?" Cas wanted to know, before he kissed Dean on the forehead.

"What's this?" Dean wanted to know, gesturing to all of his piercings. He had snake bites, a nose piercing, and two eyebrow piercings, on his left eyebrow.

"Birthday present for myself," Cas replied. "Anyways, are you going to tell me what this is?"

"A birthday party," Charlie rolled her eyes, walking towards the two. "Hate to break up the love fest, but we have cake to eat and presents to open."

"I was told to come here to come cuddle with my boyfriend, not do any of what you just said," he replied, smiling.

"Just come," Charlie walked into the living room, Dean and Cas trailing. Everyone had sat down, presents strown everywhere. The Christmas tree was in one corner, Dean and Sam's presents under it, although they'd wait until tomorrow to open them. Still, the lights on were a nice touch.

Dean and Cas sat next to each other on the couch, Gabriel on the other side of Cas.

"Alright, kiddo, let's get this started," Gabriel told him, a lollipop in his hand.

Cas got mainly art supplies, such as sketchbooks, colored pencils, so on and so forth. He also got a CD and hoodie from Anna; the CD was their official EP, Heaven. He did the album art, and it was getting his name out there.

"So, Dean, are you leaving your present best for last?" Cas wanted to know.

"Yep," Dean replied.

"Then where is it?" Cas was curious.

"You'll get it eventually," Dean smiled. "Now, it's time for you to go blow out your candles,"

Everyone got up and migrated to the kitchen, where a decent sized cake was sitting. Dean had made it himself, although he wasn't too sure what to put on it. There were so many things that he could do, but in the end, he just decided on doing a few things. He made a stunning Christmas tree on it as well as 'Merry Christmas', but then put an X on it. Below that, he wrote, 'Happy Birthday Cas!' Love, Dean. Everyone else had tried signing their names under it, although it did get a bit messy.

Cas laughed when he saw this, while Luci got out a lighter and lit all eighteen of the candles. They all sang happy birthday in typical fashion, dimming the lights so the candlelight illuminated Cas's face.

From what Dean knew, it was the best birthday Cas had.

* * *

"So, dearest," Cas nuzzled his nose into Dean's neck. "What's my present?"

"Me," Dean replied.

"You?" Cas sat up, confused.

"Yeah.. me," Dean answered.

"What do you mean by you?"

"Anything you want to do with me."

The topic of sex hadn't come up yet, since the two were quite satisfied just doing what they had been doing. There were some implications here and there, but they never just said, "Let's have sex."

"Alright."

That wasn't exactly the response Dean was expecting, as Cas snuggled into him even more.

"Alright?" Dean echoed.

"Yeah, alright. Synonyms are okay, fine, ducky-"

"You don't wanna do anything with me?" Dean felt offended, and his heart was slowly shattering.

"I never said that. I said alright. When the time comes, the time comes, and that's that."

"Really?" Dean wanted to know.

"Yeah, don't seem so wounded. I love you, babe."

Dean's breath hitched and Cas sat up to make eye contact with him.

"I don't expect you to say it back right away," Cas tried explaining to him. "Just say it when the time seems right."

"But what if it seems right, right now?" Dean wanted to know.

"It only does because I just said it," Cas replied, a car light illuminating the room through the window. He watched the light travel from one side of the room to the other, before looking back at Dean.

"If you say so," Dean curled up next to Cas, smiling as he started to fall asleep, the moonlight hitting them ever so slightly, allowing him to see Cas smiling right back at him.

* * *

"You know, your baby bump is cute." Cas informed Meg.

"Yeah, yeah, can it, Clarence." she replied, putting a hand on it.

"You still have the opportunity if you'd like," Cas quietly mumbled, although Meg wasn't affected by it.

"You hear your boyfriend?" she asked Dean, who was used to this by now. He nodded, while looking over to Cas.   
"We're in the waiting room to find out the gender of my sweet little baby, and he says we can just get rid of them."

"It's just not the wisest choice," Cas persisted, before the door opened.

"Meg Masters?" a woman asked, and Cas got up with her.

"Be right back, babe," he smiled, leaving Dean alone in the waiting room.

He sorted through the magazines, but couldn't find anything to read. They were all what to do if you're expecting types, although he did stumble upon one smaller magazine. It was to see how big your baby was this week, and he started flipping through it. He went to week twenty, since that was what Meg was at, and saw the baby only weighed about ten ounces at this point.

The magazine only held his attention for so long, until he put it down and stared out the window. He was getting nervous about this whole baby thing; only for the fact Cas would be there so often. He'd be like the baby's father, so to speak.. which meant Dean would probably be around the baby as well. He didn't know how to care for children, let alone infants. He had been picking up a few things here and there from Cas and Meg, but really, he was at a loss.

Cas and Meg came out the room, Meg looking happier than Dean had ever seen her, a grin plastered on her face. It wasn't one of her usual ones; this one was just pure happiness, or so it seemed.

"It's a girl," she held up a copy of the ultrasound, and although it was just a bunch of black and white with some gray, it was an actual child. Or, it would be, sooner or later.

"That's great," Dean replied, smiling back. She held onto the picture as they walked to the car, not letting it out of her sight.

"So, how much money do you have saved up?" Cas asked her, as he got in the passenger seat.

"Why do you want to know?" she replied.

"I was going to suggest we go clothes shopping now for the baby, now that you know the gender," Cas told her, making her smile even more.

"Why Clarence, that's a wonderful idea."

* * *

Baby shopping wasn't how Dean expected it.

He expected it to be the way shopping was with his mother, especially when he was younger. She would have to take Sam and himself along once in a while if she wanted to go clothes shopping, and they hated it. They hated looking at rows upon rows of clothes they wouldn't wear, and didn't care about. Sure, they liked telling their mom if she looked nice in a shirt, or something to that extent, but besides that, the highlight of the trip would always be leaving.

Baby shopping, however, wasn't like this. It consisted of Dean and Cas oo-ing and awh-ing at practically everything they saw, and them picking out outfits for Meg's baby. They even went to the cribs section and gushed over those.

By the end of the day, they probably bought more outfits than necessary, but Cas dismissed it and said he'd pay for part of it.. which made Dean curious.

When they were in Dean's bed, he spoke up, and asked a question he had been waiting to ask for a few months now.

"Why haven't I ever gone to your house or met your parents?"


	14. Visions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello it is me I wanted to casually put my tumblr here http://disenchanteddean.tumblr.com/
> 
> as well as inform you all that I'm personally planning on having 20 chapters total, but I'm not too sure, maybe I'll aim for 25? 
> 
> also someone mentioned the title of the last chapter worried them and I don't think anyone's going to get it any time soon if I don't mention this but all the chapter titles have something in common and don't really have anything to do with the chapter itself (i don't think anyone's picked up on it yet tho)

"There's a lot of different reasons," Cas began. "There's a lot of reasons I haven't brought you to met my parents, as well as why I turned out the way I am. I mean, you've seen the rest of my siblings. They're perfectly fine, for the most part. Hard to say with Luci, but still. Yeah, Anna is somewhat rebellious, but she's not messed up like I am."

Dean frowned, about to open his mouth and say Cas was fine the way he was. But, Cas cut him off.

"First off, it's not parents. It's just my mother, and her name is Hannah. Mrs. Novak, if you'd like to get formal. My father.. he's gone. Don't know what happened to him, but he left all his money in the bank. In a few years, we can be allowed to legally consider him dead. He probably is to begin with, but still. There's always the chance he's alive, but I doubt it. I mean, who just leaves all their money behind?"

Cas rubbed his eyes, sitting up. He fluffed up the pillows and made it more comfortable for him to lay against.

"Anyways, I'm not sure what a normal upbringing is, but I'm confident mine wasn't normal. My mother and him broke it off after I was born. She then got together with Anna's father, and Anna was born. Of course, she didn't actually get together with Anna's father. It was more of a one night stand, as far as I know. That's what my siblings said, since mother never talks about it. So, Anna just got our father's last name to make things easier."

"That's what you do in the case of a one night stand?" Dean asked.

"That's what we did. Anyways, I've never really seen my father all that much. I mean, he was around here and there, but it wasn't constant every day. Anyways, moving on. Although my siblings and I are relatively similar, I'm somewhat of the black sheet between all of us. Because of this, there was always this way my parents talked to me, the way they treated me. At first, it was a subtle difference, something I only noticed here and there. But as I got older, there was a clear difference. I'm not saying I'm the only one that got yelled at, or got in trouble, but there was a difference in how they treated me. A lot of people, a lot of parents, they say things, they have plans. They have plans of how they're going to raise their kids, and how perfect it'll be. I bet my parents had that plan, but it all went to shit after the first few of my siblings were born.

"As time went on, I got sick of their rules, sick of their ideas. My father worked the house under a dictatorship, so to speak. Only he could decide anything, make any rules, had final say in everything. This caused me to run away from home multiple times, sometimes Gabe or Anna accompanying me, sometimes not. Luci never technically ran away, he just went out. Michael and Raphael never even did that, they were very obedient and listened to everything my parents had to say. On one of my trips, or one of the times I ran away," Cas put air quotes around ran away as he said it, "I encountered Meg. I must have been twelve, and she was out and about in town. We were both in Burger King, and she wanted to know why no one was with me. We sat down and had lunch together and I spent the night at her house after. She and her mother took care of me more often than not, whenever I got rebellious and felt like leaving my house.

"I guess there's not much besides that. Sorry for the boring story, babe. It wasn't all that exciting," Cas told Dean, kissing his forehead.

"But how did your mother react to your father leaving?" Dean wanted to know.

"I don't know. She doesn't mention it, she just acts like he was never there. I can't tell if she's broken or really just doesn't care. Probably the latter, plus she doesn't use his money. We've never discussed it, but we've all agreed that the money is for us. We try not to use it too often, and Michael and Raphael don't use it too much, but still we need it sometimes, like when Gabe needed money for his culinary school. He's going to school right now for baking and shit. Mike graduated last year, and wants to be a CEO of a company or something. Luci is in law school right now, and Raph is still in college. Our mother is a social worker, and you obviously already know what Anna does."

"What's your mother like, though?" Dean asked, hoping he wasn't prying too much.

"Boring. She took up my father's trait of having the final say with everything, so I try not to interact with her too often. Not really sure how she'd react to the whole son being a fag thing. But hey, maybe soon we'll find out." Cas smiled. "Only if you want, though."

"I don't see why not," Dean replied. "What's the worst she can do?"

"That's the spirit," Cas grinned, adjusting his snake bites. "Man, I'm still not used to these."

"I think you look hot with them," Dean blushed, although Cas's smile only widened.

"Oh, really," he teased, getting on top of Dean and kissing him here and there, going down his jawline to his neck. The feeling of metal was different and Dean was still getting used to it, but he didn't mind it.

"What do you want to do tonight," Cas breathed, his mouth hovering above Dean's neck.

"Whatever you want," Dean replied. At this point, just being around Cas was enjoyable, and anything they did together he liked.

"Well, seeing as how your parents are currently at a party," Cas began, rolling over to get his wallet. He then pulled out a single condom and tossed it on Dean's stomach. "If you're serious, we can."

"I already told you I wanted to," Dean replied, holding up the condom.

"I just don't want to push you into it and force you to do something you don't want to," Cas told him gently, coming back and laying on top of him once more. "I'd be fine just laying here with you and making out."

"I want to, I really do, I told you that night on your birthday," Dean insisted.

"Alright, well, let's just keep it slow, don't want to just ram my dick up your ass," Cas laughed, before grinding against Dean and kissing him once more. They started to make out slowly, Dean's fingers running through Cas's hair, and the other running along his back, while Cas put both of them on his shoulders. Cas grinded against Dean slowly, before they picked up the pace and gradually got faster.

"Please can we do this tonight," Dean looked Cas in the eyes. 

Cas held Dean's face, and whispered back, "Of course we can," still smiling.

The irony was strong, because then Mary knocked on the door to tell Dean that he needed to come do the dishes and that John and herself were home.


	15. Bubbly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> a lot of things have happened since I last updated this. I originally posted the first chapter a month before I got together with my boyfriend, and we broke up a month ago. it feels like forever since I've even opened AO3, and I'm really sorry for it. It's hard for me to concentrate and get the words out, and especially hard for me to write something I deem good enough to post. I know it just sounds like I'm pulling out a bunch of excuses to pardon my absence, but it is what it is.  
> I feel bad for leaving everyone in the dark for so long, so in return I plan to finish this before I graduate high school this summer so I can get it off my plate.  
> Anyways, sorry for talking so much. I'm glad so many people have read and comment on what I have so far, and do so to this day despite it not being done. Thank you for putting up with me ♥♥

"Babe, will you listen to my tattoo ideas?"

"Sure," Dean replied. They were over at Dean's, as usual, in the living room.

"I was thinking about wings. The thing is though, I don't know how big I want them. I could get smaller ones, or I could get ones that go all the way to my wrists. I'm just not sure."

"I like the bigger ones. Do any of your siblings have tattoos?" Dean asked.

"Anna does, not too many though. Luci has a few as well, and same with Gabe. I want to have a lot of my body covered in tattoos, though." Cas answered. "Continuing, I wanted a few watercolor tattoos. I was thinking a feather dispersing into a bunch of birds. I wanted the feather to be blue and purple; does that sound alright?"

"It sounds good," Dean answered.

Cas continued to rattle them off. He listed a watercolor jellyfish, compass, some Sakura petals and flowers, and other ones. He said he wanted most on his arms, collarbone area, or on the upper part of his back. He gave reasons such as, "I just like jellyfish," or, "I just like flowers,".

And about an hour later, they were at the tattoo shop. It wasn't small, but it wasn't big, either. The walls were heavily decorated, and there were many chairs scattered around the room.

"You sure you wanna go through with all this?" Dean wanted to know. "These things are, y'know, forever."

"Of course I'm sure," Cas smiled. "I've been thinking about them for a while. I just wanted a second opinion before I actually got them. I mean, you can't just come in here most of the time. You gotta have an appointment, and talk about this that and the next thing beforehand."

And so, Cas got inked up. Dean and him held hands, Dean slowly getting used to the sound of the needle running. Cas chatted with employee's there, while Dean didn't find anywhere to jump into the conversation. Because of this, he didn't speak too much, unless Cas said something to him. Cas had chosen to get the feather tattoo on his neck done that day, although he'd have to come in again for them to finish it up. The tattoo artist got through most of it, and by the end Dean would even go as far to say that he thought it was done. Of course, he didn't know too much about tattoos, but still.

"Alright, ready to go meet mama Novak?" Cas asked.

"What?" Dean was caught completely off-guard, not expecting it at all.

"You heard me," Cas replied, as if he had said something such as what time it was. "We're going to go meet mom."

"You don't really have to do this, though," Dean began, but Cas shook his head.

"I already decided it. I told her we'd have dinner tonight, so she's on board. She just doesn't know you'll be joining us." he squeezed Dean's hand, smiling.

"If you say so," Dean replied, frowning. They made their way to Cas' house, picking up some Chinese on the way.

"She should be home any minute now," Cas told Dean as they walked through the door. "You wanna sit down and get ready?"

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Dean shrugged, his hands in his pockets. "We can go set everything up while we're waiting for her, though."

Cas went into the kitchen to get the plates and utensils. Dean opened up all the packages in the dining room, water droplets dripping down as he did so, steam rushing up and hitting his face. He had lost his appetite as he looked out to the massive amount of food that they had purchased, realizing he was more nervous than when John found out about Cas and him.

He heard someone come in through the front door, his heart jumping up into his throat as he stood alone in the dining room. He heard someone approach the room, and came to face to face with a woman with brown hair and blue eyes, who could be none other than Cas' mother.

"Castiel, who is this boy?" she asked.

"My boyfriend," he called back from the kitchen, before entering. Dean watched her eyes go wide, rage flashing across her face. "What?" he asked as he entered the room, as she stood unmoving.

"You thought I'd allow this?" she asked, her mouth in a tight line.

"Well, it's not your decision now is it?" Cas retorted. "I asked you to join us for dinner, not for you to lay down rules because I decided to be myself."

Hannah stood, speechless, her eyes raking over both Dean and Cas, as they all stood in silence. She slowly turned back around, grabbing her keys off the counter and leaving, closing the door quietly, leaving Dean and Cas alone.

"I was expecting a lot more," Dean finally said.

"So was I," Cas agreed. "Maybe it's just shock?"

"Do you think that she's mad?" Dean asked Cas, as he put his hand on top of Dean's.

"Maybe. I really don't know," Cas shrugged. "I've never really seen her react like that to anything. So your guess is as good as mine. Maybe she just needs time." He kissed Dean gently, before sitting down to eat, digging into the abundance of food that they had ordered.

x x x

"What do you mean, I have to come home right now?" Dean asked Mary over the phone. It was the day before Valentine's, and he had been out with Cas having lunch together.

"As in, come home right now Dean Winchester. There's no arguing right now, please. I have to make a lot of other calls, just please, come home. It's very important. I'll see you soon," she replied, before hanging up. She sounded nervous, rambling on the phone, her voice shaking.

"What's wrong, cutie?" Cas asked.

"I have to go home now," Dean replied. "We can stop by and get your things,"

"Sure," Cas told him, and they turned the car around, now heading to Dean's house. He drove faster than usual, nervous as to what Mary sounded so frantic about. They pulled in the driveway, both of them getting out and walking to the front door quickly. Dean noted that it was only Mary home, John most likely at work, which would make the situation less tense.

"Mom?" he called out, walking to the kitchen where he found Mary writing down an assortment of scribbles on a notepad, her cellphone next to her. "What's wrong?"

She looked up at Dean, as Cas walked upstairs out of sight. She looked like she had been crying moments before, a torn expression on her face as her bottom lip trembled. She opened her mouth to speak, quietly telling Dean, "Sam ran away."


	16. (Coffee's For Closers)

"What are we supposed to do?" Dean asked Mary, sitting down next to her and putting his hands over hers.

"I don't know, Dean," she whispered softly. "I called the police and everyone I needed to, but I don't think he wants to be found. I'm getting anxious thinking about who he's with,"

Dean paused, before asking, "Do you think he's with Lucifer?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, but I think it's safe to say probably," she replied.

"Dean?" Cas called out from the doorway, his backpack over his shoulder. "What's going on?"

"Sammy ran away, possibly with Lucifer," Dean answered him. Cas stood in silence, looking at him and Mary, the sound of the clock ticking away in the background. A few raindrops came fluttering down lightly, hitting the window as no one said a word.

x x x

"You shaved your hair off?" Dean asked Cas, startled. "And dyed it?"

"What, do you not like it?" Cas asked, running his fingers through it and touseling it a bit before resting his hand on top of Dean's. His rings made Dean shiver slightly, cold and metallic, but they'd warm up soon enough.

"You just didn't mention it," Dean shrugged. "It just took me off guard, that's all,"

"I did it yesterday. It burned my scalp like a bitch, but I like how it looks. My mom didn't say much about it, but then again she doesn't really to begin with anymore."

It was nearing spring, and Dean and Cas hadn't been able to spend as much time as they wanted to anymore since Dean was getting ready for lacrosse. Cas fully supported him, and intended on going to just about all of his games most likely. So, because of it, Dean was taking Cas out to dinner and they'd probably spend the rest of the evening together.

Sam was still missing and had put a strain on things as well. Lucifer wasn't in contact, which although was the usual, seemed suspicious due to the circumstances. Sam hadn't made any attempt to contact with anyone in the family, and Dean was heartbroken over it. It was almost like he had died; at this point, he could've and no one would know. Dean had assessed it a few times, thinking it'd be funny if Sam suddenly showed up and it had turned out he was in the basement the entire time, or something like that. 

But it just didn't happen.

John and Mary were quiet, suffering in silence. John never showed his emotions to their true extent, and Mary just looked broken and defeated all of the time. The entire household was now quiet, and bleak, everything going astray. Dean had to do his own laundry now, and usually fix his own meals, as Mary wasn't up to it at all. Their family and friends came over often, with hugs and kisses and sometimes food, trying to comfort them, but it never truly helped.

It was never mentioned, but Cas had undoubtedly felt guilty about the whole ordeal, seeing as how he introduced the two. Dean didn't blame him, however, since it wasn't his fault after all. That didn't help, though. Nothing really did.

"So, your first game is coming up," Cas reminded him. "Everyone's coming, right?"

"Yep, I'm pretty sure," Dean replied, in the same voice and manner that he had been using for the past few months.

"Who're you going against?"

"Dunno, I wasn't paying attention." Dean shrugged.

Cas sat in silence, his arms crossed as they drove, neither of them saying anything, the radio turned off until they pulled into the restaurant parking lot. The two of them got out, still not saying anything, Dean shoving his hands into his pockets and walking ahead of Cas.

They went inside and were seated, Dean going on his phone leaving Cas to sit and watch him with his big blue eyes, hurting. It wasn't Dean's fault that he felt like this, really. It was just something that they'd have to get through. Every couple has their rough patches, and they certainly weren't going to be an exception, starting off with the day that they met.

"So, Meg's doing well," Cas told Dean several minutes after the waitress took their order, as he sipped on his water.

Dean simply nodded, his eyes unwavering as they scanned his phone. Their food would be coming out soon, but Cas didn't want their entire conversation to simply be about how their food was.

"She said the due date's gonna be at the end of June."

"Sorry, I'm just not in the mood to talk." Dean told Cas, before putting his hand on top of his and squeezing it gently.

Their food came out and they ate it in near silence, then proceeded to leave after paying. Cas was dropped off at his house, and that was that.

x x x

"How're you feeling, Dean?"

He looked over with his meadow eyes, wide and glossy, bags underneath that probably couldn't even be covered up with makeup at this point. He had been drinking, something that he hadn't really ever done, but realized after Sam left how much he loved it.

"I could drink more," he replied slowly.

"Maybe slow down," Lisa smiled as they sat in the front seat of his car. "You've already had a lot,"

"Why don't you have one for me then?" he asked, picking at a hangnail. "We can just walk back to my house or call a cab if neither of us can drive. You've already had one or two,"

"I suppose," she replied, before opening up a beer and slowly sipped on it. The car was parked near some woods, the glow of the moon illuminating the car but not all that much. It was a Friday, and no one had made any plans so Lisa and Dean decided to make their own. A cooler was in the backseat, and beer bottles littered the floor of his car now, all of them empty. Cas wasn't anywhere in his mind, only Sammy, as always.

"You're drinking that so slow," he pointed out.

"Am I supposed to chug it, Winchester?" she teased.

"It'd be pretty hot if you did."

"Such an impressive vocabulary," she laughed, before proceeding to drink the rest of it.

They continued talking, Lisa continuing to drink as Dean slowly sipped on one that she had given him. Before they knew it, it was past midnight, according to Dean's dash, and Lisa was asked to not stay out too late.

"Maybe we should start heading back," she told Dean, who simply gripped onto her arm.

"No, not just yet," he pleaded.

"But we've been out here for a while," she pointed out.

"Well you've already been here for a long time, what's a little longer?" Dean asked.

"I guess," she shrugged, before Dean took his hand off of her. "Maybe we should put the bottles in the backseat,"

Dean agreed, and they started collecting bottles and putting them in the cooler, which was now empty. He wasn't sure how many they had drank, but it was enough that he knew for a fact they couldn't even walk home without throwing up or stumbling every other step.

"One's stuck under the seat," Lisa told Dean, trying to get it out.

"Lemme get it," he slurred, his arms brushing against hers as he tried retrieving it. It turned into much more than just their arms brushing up against each other, Dean grabbing Lisa and putting her on top of him, their mouths sloppily exploring each other, as all the two of them could taste was beer. 

And that's how Dean ended up cheating on Cas.


	17. It Ends Tonight

"Why're you so out of it?"

Dean stood as his coach talked to him, the brisk air flowing through his uniform and making him shiver. The lights were shining bright and all he could hear was the crowd in the background, cheering on his teammates as they played their first game of the season. Dean wasn't his normal self, and because of this, was getting lectured.

"Sorry," Dean apologized. "I just have a lot going on."

"I heard about your brother. I know it's not the time to bring it up or mention it," his coach sighed, "But I'm truly sorry. My siblings would run away at times, but it was never for this long. Just don't give up hope; you two were close. He can't stay away forever. Just imagine how you're feeling right now; he's probably feeling exactly the same. I'm not saying disregard it, but try and focus on other things that you can actually make an impact on, such as this game. You were amazing last season, and everyone could tell you really loved it. Just don't give up,"

Dean nodded, before his coach walked away to watch the game, hands shoved in his pockets. Dean listened to the crashing of his teammates, sticks flying up into the air and them shouting at each other. Cas and the rest of his friends were in the bleachers, watching the game go on, but they could all clearly see him on the sidelines. Mary had shown up, but John had to work, so it was just her, sitting off to the side with Ellen.

Dean hadn't told a soul what had happened with Lisa. He felt guilty, but it wasn't exactly eating him away every second of his day. It was an awful thing to do, and he hated cheaters a tremendous amount, but now he was one. He didn't know what to do; holding back the truth was practically the same as lying, but he saw no other alternative for now. He knew Cas would be hurt, and they'd probably have to end it, if anything. But in reality, Dean just.. couldn't bring himself to care. Ever since he had started drinking, his days started passing by smoothly.

Lisa was in the bleachers tonight, also not telling anyone what had happened. That night, afterwards, Lisa and Dean fell asleep in the Impala and he drove her home in the morning, the two of them laughing like nothing had happened. Dean could barely recall what really did happen, and he wasn't sure if she did, but he wasn't about to ask her.

"Winchester, you're up."

Dean made his way onto the field, his stick in his hand, slowly making his way to his position. The opponents noticed his presence, and one of them laughed.

"What's so funny?" Dean wanted to know.

"Nothing, it's just entertaining seeing a queer here," they shrugged, saying it quietly.

"I may be a queer but I can still kick your ass," Dean shot back as everyone got in their positions. The opponent simply laughed, shruggging it off like it was nothing.

The ball went into play, and Dean made sure that they scored, unbelievably angry at what that boy had said. He ran as fast as he could for the rest of the game, always making sure he was open and that the ball was passed to him. By the time it ended, Dean's team had won by a tremendous amount. He tried looking for the boy who had said the homophobic comment to him, but he was lost in the crowd as his friends and family came up to him, hugging him and congratulating him.

"I'm so proud of you," Mary smiled, hugging Dean tightly. It was the happiest he had seen her in months, and it warmed his heart and nearly made him cry.

"Thanks, mom," he replied, hugging her back just as tight. They separated and the rest of his friends embraced him, a few comments and jabs taken at him, making him laugh.

"I'm going to be heading home now, make sure to not stay out too late if you end up going out," Mary told him, before making her way to her car.

When his friends finally separated from him, Cas finally got his turn to hug and kiss him, the sweat seeping into his hoodie.

"Oh man, that's gross," Dean said.

"It's fine," Cas replied, before kissing him on the cheek. "So, what did you wanna do tonight?"

"Go get something to eat at Wendy's or something," Dean shrugged, meeting Cas' blue eyes with his green ones. As he looked into them and Cas' loving expression, something inside of him clicked and he knew that he had to tell him about Lisa. He wasn't sure what exactly really prompted him to think it, maybe just common sense if anything, but he knew that he couldn't just stand around and let himself be loved by Cas so intensely and loyal, while he cheated on him. Granted, it was just once, but at the end of the day it was still cheating and still wrong to leave him in the dark like that. Dean put his arm around Cas, walking with him to the locker rooms to get changed, then to his car where he drove to Wendy's and got something to eat from the drive-thru. They drove to an abandoned parking lot a few blocks down, sitting in the Impala and eating greasy, unhealthy food.

"So," Dean started, as he finished his meal. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Are you joking? It doesn't sound too good," Cas noted, a smile still on his face that was slowly fading.

"Last weekend I went drinking with Lisa," Dean started. "I ended up..." He choked on his words, unable to get them out as Cas' eyes widened in shock, before filling up with tears.

"You what, Dean."

"I can't finish the sentence. I'm sorry. If you don't want to be with me, that's fine, because I'm disgusted with myself too. I didn't want you to be in the dark while you loved me without a second thought."

Cas took one look at Dean, before opening the door and slamming it, walking away into the darkness where Dean couldn't see, nor did he follow.


	18. Untouched

Every night, Dean's nightmares started the same way.

He was always with Sam or Cas, and would end up seeing whoever he wasn't with. Sometimes, he'd be with Cas but then Cas would learn about what Dean had done and start running away. In these instances, Dean never really tried going after him, simply accepting the fact he fucked up.

When Dean saw Sam, he would run as fast as he could trying to get him, usually abandoning Cas. He never could, though. Whether it be because Sam was too fast, or that Dean had fallen and stumbled along the way and lost track of him. Either way, it was just like real life. 

Sometimes, Sam was still a little kid. Sometimes, he appeared as a fully grown adult, taller than Dean. However, that never affected what really happened. He thought about it often, wondering if it meant something, like the next time Dean would see Sam would be when he was fully grown, or an adult possibly. At the end of the day, however, they were just dreams and nothing more.

They had never really been so vivid or intense, and they terrified Dean. He often woke up in a cold sweat, crying, or nearly screaming. He could only imagine what his parents were going through.

He didn't tell anyone about what he dreamed about, simply suffering in silence. He thought about texting Cas more than often, or calling him, or stopping by his house, but he never did. He didn't know what to say except sorry, and that wasn't good enough in his opinion.

x x x

Dean hadn't seen Cas in a while.

He hadn't shown up for school, or if he did, he was just avoiding Dean. Dean really couldn't blame him, though. No one else had found out about what he did, but he still felt like everyone was looking at him through a judgmental lens.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" Charlie teased Dean as they sat in the library.

"Dunno," Dean shrugged. "I haven't seen him."

"Is something going on?" she asked. "You seem different. Did something happen?"

"Don't worry about it," Dean brushed it off.

"Seems like I should," she told him. "You know you can talk to me about anything that you want,"

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "I know."

They talked about tv shows and comics for the rest of the period, not mentioning Cas again, which was nice for Dean. It had been hard for him to communicate with others around him, so it was comforting talking to Charlie.

Although Sam and Charlie were more the comic book nerd types, and got along very well, Dean knew a bit about them. Most of the time he just teased the two when they began to nerd out, but he was interested in comics as well. He usually didn't have time to invest in it, however, seeing as how he had to train for sports often.

The bell rang and the two got up, laughing and chatting. Dean had to go to gym, and Charlie was headed off to English, so they had to part ways. She said that she'd text him later, in hopes that he'd go out to see a movie or something of the sort with her.

It was when Dean left the library that he saw Cas.

He was alone, bags under his eyes, a dead look in his eyes. His clothes were baggy and there was a stain on his shirt, his hands shoved inside of his pockets. He didn't see Dean as he approached, and when Dean cleared his throat, he didn't turn immediately towards him.

"Cas?" Dean gently said. 

"I'd rather be set on fire than listen to you anymore." he replied, not looking into Dean's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Dean began, but Cas just brushed him off.

"I don't want to hear it. You know what you did, I know what you did. Just leave it at that. There's no reason to keep in contact with me. Just lose my number, okay princess?" Cas instructed him.

Dean racked his brain trying to think of something to say, but Cas was already walking away.

Dean went through the rest of the school day, not paying attention to much. When he got home, he saw Missouri's car in the driveway, and prepared himself to get analyzed by her, the way she always did.

"Boy, get in here," she called out from the living room as he entered the house. He made his way to her, Mary in the bathroom upstairs. "Come sit down, would you? What's ailing you?"

"Not much," he shrugged.

"I don't know why you think you can get away with lying to me," she told him. "Now, sit down and tell me what happened to you, boy. I know it isn't about Sam."

"It doesn't matter," Dean told her.

"If I didn't care I wouldn't be talking to you. Something the matter with that boy you were talking to?" she asked.

"Kind of," Dean shrugged.

"Boy, it was a yes or no question. I'm gonna take that as a yes."

"I messed up, alright?" Dean replied. "And now I can't fix it. That's the end of that,"

"Well, he's not dead is he?" she asked.

"No, he's still alive and kicking, I just saw him in school." Dean answered.

"Well then you can fix it. Stop thinking so negatively," she rolled her eyes.

"It's not something that I can take back-"

"Then don't take it back. Make up for it instead."

"I just really don't think I can do this, Missouri." Dean pleaded.

"If I gave up as often as you, I'd probably be homeless with nothing but the clothes I'm wearing and some spare change. Stop being negative. Sometimes you're going to mess up, and it's going to seem like it's beyond fixing. But you can't just stop loving someone so quickly, unless you're suppressing your feelings or telling yourself to not love them. Placebo effects work a lot more than people give them credit for," she told Dean. "I'm not saying you're going to come out of this with him, but you'll never know unless you try. So what's holding you back besides yourself?"

x x x

Dean laid in his bed, looking outside to the starry night. A slight breeze was coming in as he did so, silently creeping over his face. He had been thinking about Missouri and what she told him, and realized, as always, she was right.

He was just drifting off to sleep when he heard his phone buzzing; he grabbed it off the night stand, not bothering to look at the caller ID. "Hello?" he mumbled.

"Dean?"

He shot up, his heart jumping to his throat as he heard Sam's voice on the other end.

"Is it really you? Where are you?" he asked hurriedly.

"Dean, please calm down-"

"Like hell I will."

"I'm fine, I just wanted to call you and tell you that. I'm at a payphone right now, but I just didn't want you to worry." Sam told him.

"Sam, please come home already-"

"I would, but it's not time just yet."

Dean paused, confused. "What does that mean?" he asked.

"You'll probably figure it out sooner or later. Just don't worry about me, really. I'm fine, there's nothing wrong in my life, really. I have to get off the line now, but I'll call you soon," Sam told him. "Bye, Dean,"

"Sammy, wait," Dean nearly shouted, but was met with the sound of him hanging up. His chest was overflowing with emotions, his heart starting to hurt as tears began to run down his face. He was flustered, and didn't know what to do, who to tell, if anyone. Sam didn't specify that he wasn't allowed to tell anyone, but still. It was done at night, when Sam knew both his parents would be sleeping, and Sam called Dean.

So, maybe it was just something that Dean would have to keep between the two of them for now.


	19. The Ghosts Of Beverly Drive

"Didn't you date that boy?"

Dean was in the driver's seat of the Impala, a girl in his lap. So, basically, the typical weekend night for him at this point. A few beers in and a girl he'd find at a party were all he needed to forget about everything else in his life.

He shrugged, before sliding his hands up her legs, the only light, as always, being the moon shining down on them.

The moon got to see everything Dean did, always guiding him and helping him, most nights at least. There were times when it'd be raining, or the moon would be hidden behind clouds making everything dark. However, Dean never did anything while the sun was still out. He didn't plan it specifically like this, it just happened naturally. Plus, that's when parties were.

Half an hour later or so, he was on his way to drop her off at another party. He pulled onto the street, cars on both sides, and said goodnight to her before driving off towards a Wendy's for something to eat. He drove back home, shoveling a burger into his mouth as well as fries, rinsing it down with a soda. He turned onto his road, then made his way home.

Mary and John were both sleeping by the time he got home, tip-toeing to the kitchen to throw out his trash, then to his room.. where he found Cas in the windowsill, smoking.

"Dude, I told you not to do that in here," he frowned, putting his jacket on his bed.

"And I'm pretty sure I told you to lose my number, but it's still in your phone." Cas replied, blowing smoke at him.

"What're you doing here, even?" Dean wanted to know, trying his best not to slur his words. "I'm still convinced you hate me."

"I never said that I didn't," Cas rolled his eyes. "I just came here to talk to you about what you're doing. I thought I was self destructive, but this takes it to a whole new level."

"Yeah, well, that's my business and not yours." Dean shrugged.

"Yeah, you're right." Cas replied. "I guess I should just go then. Do they come to your house is it only in your car?"

Dean gritted his teeth, feeling weak and helpless. "I fucked up, and we both know it. I don't think you should be torturing me over it. I'm sorry, and you know that. If this is how I choose to deal with it, then that's that."

"It's not healthy, Dean."

"Yeah, drinking alcohol really isn't good for you," Dean told him. "But what else am I going to do? I fucked up and I don't think you'll ever forgive me. There's nothing I can do, so I don't know why you even bothered coming over here. You didn't wanna talk to me the other week-"

"Because I wasn't in the mood to," Cas began to get mad. "Can you blame me?"

"Just tell me why you're here," Dean wanted to know. "You don't wanna be with me and I know that."

"No, you don't," Cas retorted. "It'd be nice to just get a word in-"

"So you can make me feel like shit even more?"

"If you're going to be so defensive and rude, that's fine, I'll just leave," Cas told Dean, before putting out his cigarette. He stood up, walking over to Dean, before gripping him by the collar. "You're better than this and we both know it."

Cas went out Dean's window, the same way that he had come in, leaving Dean feeling small and fragile as he stood in his bedroom, a breeze coming in and washing over him.

x x x

Not 24 hours after Cas had stopped by, Luci did as well.

Dean was the only one home, Mary and John at work. Dean was watching TV, alone in the living room, thinking about Cas and why he would have stopped by last night, but coming up with no real answer. He didn't mention wanting anything, and Dean's room wasn't tampered with as far as he could tell. Did he really just wanna talk? And if so, then about what?

He heard the doorbell ring, and peeled himself up off the couch to go answer it, wondering who it could be. He looked through the window and nearly sprinted to the front door, ripping it open and lunging at Luci.

"I had a feeling that this would happen," he sighed as he stepped back out of the way. "I'm not with your brother."

"How can I be sure?" Dean raised his voice.

"I have no reason to lie to you," Luci replied. "I have no idea where he is. He left on his own accord,"

"And you had absolutely nothing to do with this?" Dean asked.

"I gave him money, but besides that, no. I didn't go with him, I don't know where he is." Luci replied.

"So why are you here then?" Dean wanted to know.

"Because I'm concerned about him. Is there really no way of contacting him? He's been gone for a while, so he has to be with someone he knows. He can't have been gone this long all on his own with the money that I gave him, and even if he had money saved up, I doubt it'd be enough to sustain him for long," Luci pointed out.

"So what do you propose then?"

"Maybe instead of talking about this, we can talk about you," Luci suggested. "I was informed about what happened between you and Castiel-"

"That's none of your business, really," Dean replied, "You're one of the last people I want to talk to about it, so maybe it's best that you just leave before I call the police. I don't believe you, and I think that you already know that,"

"I'm innocent, but if you really wanna waste both of our times by dragging me down to the station for no real reason, then fine, so be it. I'll wait till the cops come so that they can confirm that none of this is my fault-"

"You gave him money," Dean pointed out. "That's assisting him in running away,"

"But I never told him to run away, never even suggesting it. You continue to act as though this is my fault. He's the one who made the decision and ran away."

"Ever since you came into his life, he started acting differently, leading up to him running away. You can't think that we're all just going to believe you're innocent in all of this and didn't influence him in one way or another," Dean frowned.

"At the end of the day, he ran away on his own accord without me. What're you gonna get me arrested for? Being friends with a fourteen year old? I don't know if you're aware, however, that's not something you can really get arrest for." Luci told Dean. "Anyways, I'm going to leave before you try and accuse me of anything else. I came here because I'm concerned about your brother, but obviously, you're not going to be trusting of me. Hope he shows up," Luci rolled his eyes, before walking away, his hands in his pockets.

Just like the night before, in the same way Cas did, Luci left the property, annoyed and not accomplishing anything.


	20. This Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Planning on finishing this fic soon! I'm not sure how many chapters there'll be, probably 25 at the max though

"Hey, kiddo. Fancy seeing you around here."

Dean looked up from his seat at a diner, meeting eyes with Gabriel. He sat across from Dean, a serious look on his face.

"You remember the last time I saw you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "Why?"

"I thought I asked you to take care of Castiel," Gabriel replied.

"Yeah, I remember that," Dean recollected. "But I didn't."

"Everyone's heard about it," Gabriel told Dean. "In my family, at least. Don't worry, as far as I'm aware, no one knows you slept with Lisa besides you, her, and my siblings. But," Gabriel looked at him in the eyes, "I'm willing to bet that people know about you sleeping around with everyone that you have been. People talk, you know. Word gets around, especially with someone like yourself,"

"I don't care too much," Dean shrugged.

"And why's that?"

Dean paused, before looking back at Gabriel. "I'm a fuck up. I own up to it every day, but I don't know how to fix it. I only know how to forget about it,"

"Let's forget about all this for a second. What about your brother? Would he want this?" Gabriel asked.

"No, probably not. But he's not here, and I don't know if he ever will come back," Dean shrugged. "I talked to him on the phone, but he didn't sound like he'd be coming home any time soon."

"Well, if he made the effort to call you, then he must be interested in seeing you again. It's only been a few months, sometimes these things happen," Gabriel pointed out, "I can't tell you how many times Luci ran away."

"Speaking of the devil, I talked to him a week ago," Dean told Gabriel slowly. "I think he was the one that prompted Sam to run away."

"And I wouldn't doubt it," Gabriel replied. "What'd he tell you? He's very charismatic and persuasive, although I doubt that worked on you,"

"He said that he gave Sam money, but besides that, he had nothing to do with him running away. I would think that Sam would have asked him what he thought about Sam running away," Dean told him.

"Well, I'm not sure what we could do about this, really. When he shows up, he shows up. Did Sam say he was fine?" Gabriel asked.

"Yeah, he sounded like he was okay. He didn't sound nervous or anxious or anything. I can tell when he's lying, for the most part at least, and I don't think he was. Still, I'd feel a lot better if he was home with my parents." Dean replied.

"When he calls the next time, ask him when he plans on returning. Try and keep him on the line at all costs and get as much information as you can out of him," Gabriel instructed Dean. "You have to be persuasive, desperate even. He'll tell you what you want to know, you just have to think about your words carefully."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then the next time he tries, try again. He's your brother, after all. You care about him deeply, and anyone can see that," Gabriel pointed out. "The way that you feel about Sam is the same way that I feel about Castiel. He's broken, Dean. He was already fragile and delicate when you met him. You were the one that made him come out of his shell and stop with the substance abuse. Now, it's hard to even get him out of bed for anything. He just stays there, all day, the door locked, the blinds closed. No matter how many times someone tries getting him to do something, he never does. I think he's failing school, but I'm not sure. I know that he did leave the house twice in the past month, once to get his school work, and the other time I'm not too sure about. It was at night-"

"He came to visit me," Dean told Gabriel, interrupting him.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, except we kept arguing so he just left instead of telling me what he came to talk to me about," Dean shrugged. "I didn't want him to leave, but I was just confused and tired. He didn't seem too happy, but there was something he wanted to discuss with me,"

"And you shunned him out of your house?"

"We kept butting heads, so he ended up just leaving instead of dealing with that," Dean replied.

"Maybe the next time he decides to talk to you or interact with you, listen," Gabriel sat, his head in his hands. "He's not mentally stable, Dean. He needed you and you just let him down because of your own demons. I'm not saying the two of you need to get back together, but please, for both fo your sake, don't pull this shit again."

x x x

Cas came to visit again.

"Don't say anything before you ruin this again," he told Dean. He looked even worse than before, his hair messy and unkempt, his eye bags seemingly darker, and his clothes messy and having a stain on the shirt. He sat in the windowsill again, just getting done with smoking. He was putting out his cigarette as Dean entered his room, his legs dangling out of the window.

"Okay," Dean replied. He had just gotten back from going out to eat with a few of his friends, not staying out too late since it was a school night and he didn't want Mary to worry any more than she already had. The emotional stress from Sam had taken a toll on her, and he didn't want to add on.

"I came to check up on you," Cas explained, as he swung his legs around. "What are you doing to yourself?"

"Trying to cope," Dean shrugged.

"Are you really this self destructive over what you did to me?" Cas squinted his eyes.

Dean didn't say anything, not meeting his eyes. "It's not.. it's not romantic that I'm like this. It's just pathetic."

"I won't disagree with you there," Cas replied. "But the guilt is eating you alive. Don't you already have enough on your plate?"

Dean shrugged again. "Nothing I can do now,"

"I'm not going to say what you did is okay," Cas began. "But really. Stop beating yourself up over this. Start by stop sleeping with all of these people,"

"Stop worrying about me," Dean insisted.

"Dean," Cas said gently, taking a step towards him.

"Cas, please. I hurt you-"

"And I'm willing to look past it."

"You're saying that out of pity-"

"No, Dean," Cas said sternly. "I'm not going to forgive you for what you did. But, I'll look past it." He put his hand on Dean's shoulder, before Dean nearly collapsed into him, embracing him. He didn't start crying, just shoving his face into Cas' chest, listening to his heartbeat as Cas gently held him for the rest of the night.


	21. The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man, so this is it. 
> 
> it took me two years to write this, and I'm glad I did. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it and all of the feedback I got.
> 
> I guess if anyone was to take anything from this story, it's that people fuck up, and they fuck up hard. whether you decide to accept them for who they are and what they've done, or to remove them from your life is your own choice. in some cases, such as this story, it's possible to overcome what they've done and rebuild a stable relationship, but in others, that's not the case.  
> things aren't always gonna end up with a fairy tale ending, with every i dotted and t crossed, and more often than not, you're not gonna like it. but, you get to decide what happens in your life, so just try and make sure that you make choices that make yourself happy and feel loved at the end of the day, because that's all that really matters.

Cas was covered in tattoos, and Dean loved it.

It was nearing summer. Sam was still missing, and it wasn't as if Dean had given up hope. Sam had called a few times, and Dean knew that he was okay. He knew one day he'd most likely be back, and that was comforting. He still was worried, but not nearly as much as when Sam first ran away. It was just something that Dean simply accepted, if anything. He didn't have much of a say in it; the few times he had tried objecting to Sam running away over the phone, Sam would always hang up shortly after. If they just talked about what was going on in their lives, mostly Dean's, he'd stay on the phone for a while, laughing and chatting.

Meg was going to have her baby soon; Cas was by her side more often than not, caring for her and making sure she was alright and as comfortable as she'd get. She didn't have a boyfriend, and the baby's father was out of the picture, so Cas was filling the place. Dean thought it was sweet of him, to not only do that but to make her stop doing drugs, and budget her money so she could hopefully raise her child and not have to stress as much.

Meanwhile, Dean and Cas had slowly begun to rebuild their relationship, taking baby steps and not rushing anything. Cas had gotten enough tattoos to fill both of his arms entirely, costing what Dean could only imagine as a fortune, but nevertheless, he loved them all and the way Cas looked with them.

They currently sat outside, in Dean's backyard, swinging back and forth on a swing. Cas' head rested on Dean's shoulder, his feet curled up underneath him, an oversized sweater pulled over him. The sound of a few birds chirping filled the air, as well as the scent of flowers Mary had planted, and had started to take care of in the springtime. They were almost in full bloom, and made the backyard smell heavenly.

"I'm gonna go get some water; do you want me to get you anything to drink?" Dean asked.

"No, thanks," Cas shook his head.

Dean got up, walking into the house through the back door. He turned on the faucet, running his finger under the water until it was cold, then filled up his cup and returning back outside, taking a sip as he walked. He heard Cas' phone go off as he sat down, followed by Cas answering and asking, "Hello?"

Dean waited, not able to hear whoever was on the other line. However, a few moments into the call, he could tell that it wasn't good. Cas' face became scrunched up, nervous, even. He hung up quickly, before looking over to Dean.

"Meg went into labor," he told him, shoving his shoes on. "We need to get down to the hospital right now,"

"Really?" Dean asked, standing up and putting his water on the ground. He took his keys out of his pocket, rushing over to the car with Cas, who was trying not to panic and freak out, but was filled with butterflies. They got in the car, Dean driving to the hospital as fast as he possibly could without being reckless, as Cas sat in the passenger seat, bouncing his knee up and down, the sound of his fingers tapping against the door very audible.

Dean dropped Cas off at the emergency entrance, then proceeded to find a parking spot. He made his way into the hospital, and found Cas with the help of someone at the front desk.

"They're about to start," Cas told Dean, motioning towards the door he was standing in front of. "Meg said she'd be fine on her own, so I'm just going to wait out here. You don't have to, you know. It's gonna take a few hours."

"It's fine," Dean smiled.

And so began them waiting outside her room in two chairs. Multiple times they both got up, to go get something to eat from the vending machine. Dean was thankful he had so many singles on him, putting dollar after dollar into it. He mainly got powdered donuts for himself, Cas not all too hungry. He texted Mary, telling her where he was, and where he'd probably be for the rest of the day.

After what seemed like forever, Dean and Cas were finally allowed into the room.

A doctor ushered them in, and Dean saw a small bundle on top of Meg's chest. Cas breathed in loudly, before putting his hand over Meg's. She didn't look good, but that was just to be expected, and Dean didn't put it above her.

"What's her name?" Cas asked.

"Charmeine," Meg replied.

As Dean looked down at her, he smiled, his heart itself feeling happy. It was an odd feeling, but his chest just felt extremely tight and.. happy. Cas looked like he was on the verge of tears as Meg handed him the baby, cradling her gently and kissing her on the forehead. Charmeine reached her small arm and swung it around to touch Cas ever-so-gently.

They wanted to spend more time there, but had to go and have Meg get her rest, as well as the baby. They said goodbye, then were out the door, holding each other's hand ever so gently, as the moon shone down on them.

Dean was happy with where his life was right now. Sure, Sam was missing at the moment. And sure, he had messed up in the past, and knew he wouldn't simply ignore that fact. He tried every day to fix what he had done in one way or another, even though he knew and accepted the fact that he couldn't exactly fix what he had done, just try to move past it if anything. At the end of the day, at least the moon didn't have to watch him fill himself with alcohol and fill his car with women he'd end up barely remember the names of because they either didn't tell him their name, or he couldn't seperate a single event in his mind the day after. 

Instead, the moon got to watch Dean happy and content, holding hands with the boy he loved most in the world.

x x x

"Meg died of postpartum bleeding this morning."

Dean sat up in bed, not saying a word as Cas stood next to the bed, his phone in his hand. He looked like he had been crying, and Dean wouldn't doubt it.

"She named me the god father in her will, but no one the god mother."

"I'm so sorry, Cas," Dean told him, a pain in his chest arising as his brain processed what he was just told. "Does that mean you're going to have custody of her daughter?" he asked.

Cas nodded, a mix of emotions on his face. He sat down in bed with Dean, before wrapping his arms around his neck and burying himself in Dean's chest, his shoulders moving up and down to his quiet sobbing. Dean put his arms around Cas before laying down with him, curling himself up next to him, interlocking their legs. The smell of Cas' shampoo was all that Dean could smell, strands of hair tickling his face as they pushed their way into his sight. Dean closed his eyes, letting Cas cry his heart out as they laid, the ceiling fan gently twirling above them and blowing onto them.

x x x

"Charmeine," Cas gently rocked her back and forth. "No more crying, okay?"

"I don't think asking her to stop is going to do anything," Dean chuckled, as he cleaned up around his room. Cas had moved in with the baby, and the two were situated up in Dean's room, which had turned into a landfill of baby toys and clothes. Dean had a crash course in taking care of an infant, and was still learning new things every day.

"Well, it's better than nothing," Cas replied, before kissing her on the forehead.

"Let me hold her again," Anna insisted, as she sat on Dean's bed next to Balthazar.

"Sure, but only if you promise to never have a kid within the foreseeable future," Cas replied.

"Please, Castiel, I'm seventeen. I'm not looking to end up on that show," she rolled her eyes, before he handed the baby to her. "Oh, but look at how cute she is," she smiled to Balthazar.

"Stop filling your head full of ideas," Balthazar joked, as he held the baby's hand with his index finger.

"It's not my fault that babies decided to be this cute. Tell me when I can babysit, because I'm ready to at any moment. I'd cancel a show for this," Anna told Cas, making him laugh.

"Don't ruin your career just because you think my daughter is cute," he replied. "You have more than enough free time to spend with her,"

"Can the two of you go on a date or something tomorrow? Really," Anna held Charmeine up in the air, before kissing her face all over. 

"Well, if you insist," Dean smiled.

They sat in their room for a while more, before Anna said her and Balthazar had to go for band practice.

"If I could cancel it to spend more time with you cutie pie, I would," she told Charmeine, before giving her one more kiss goodbye. "We'll have time tomorrow together, don't worry,"

"I don't think she's worrying about anything, really," Balthazar replied, as Charmeine looked off into the distance with a blank expression.

They said their goodbyes, leaving Cas and Dean alone with the baby.

"Are we actually going out on a date?" Dean laughed.

"Well, she insisted on it. Dinner tomorrow, then," Cas replied.

"Well, what do you want for dinner tonight? My parents just texted me telling me that they're gonna be out all night at a party," Dean asked Cas.

"I'm not sure what's in the kitchen, so just make whatever you want," Cas replied.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded, and Dean made his way downstairs, thinking of what was actually in the kitchen that wasn't frozen or leftovers. He scavenged through the cabinets, pulling out a container of plain macaroni, then cheese from the fridge. He started cooking the macaroni, stiring it every so often as he heard Cas patter upstairs, back and forth with the baby.

He heard the doorbell ring, and turned the heat down on the stove before walking and opening the door. His first instinct was to think that Anna or Balthazar had left something behind, because really, they were the only people who would be visiting this late, really-

"So I'm not taller than you just yet. I'm getting there, though," Sam told Dean as he opened the door, smiling, before Dean nearly tackled him to the ground, hugging him and crying into his shirt.

"Are mom and dad home?" Sam asked Dean when they finally separated, before meeting Cas' eyes. "Oh man, whose baby is that?"

"Ours," Cas nodded towards Dean as he held Charmeine. "Why don't you come in; Dean was just making dinner,"

The four of them crowded into the kitchen, Sam taking off his shoes and jacket, putting a bag down next to his things. He began telling Dean and Cas how he ran away, taking the bus across America and viewing whatever he could. He showed them pictures of his adventure, of all the people that he met, as well as the list of numbers he had collected along the way (which Dean laughed and patted him on the back for).

"But why?" Dean asked as he strained the macaroni.

"It's not like things were really bad here, I just needed to get away," Sam replied. "I don't know how to explain it, really," he shrugged, before getting out bowls for everyone.

"I'll go put Charmeine in her chair," Cas told Dean, before exiting the kitchen to the dining room, leaving Dean and Sam alone.

"Don't think it was because of Luci," Sam told Dean. "Please."

"I don't know how I feel, Sam," Dean replied, as he mixed together the macaroni and cheese. "I'm happy you're here, but I guess I'm just looking for someone to blame."

"Then blame me," Sam replied. "It was me who orchestrated the entire thing. People helped me along the way, but it was all me,"

"I guess," Dean shrugged. "It'd just be easier to blame someone who I don't see every day,"

"So, anyways, you and Cas are still together," Sam nodded.

"We weren't together the entire time you were gone," Dean replied.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, turns out you leaving made me take a turn for the worse. Not like it's your fault, but it just nudged me in that direction," Dean shrugged, "But all you need to know is that we're back together again, and now with Charmeine."

"Whose baby is that, though? Biologically speaking," Sam wanted to know.

"Cas' friend, Meg. She passed a few hours after giving birth from bleeding to much, and made sure to make note of it in her will that Cas would be the one to get her daughter. Dunno where that baby's father is, or what he looks like or even his name, to tell you the truth; it's just Cas and I now filling their places." Dean answered.

"Oh man, I really wanna see you change a diaper," Sam grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, don't you have to go wash up or something?" Dean asked.

Sam left the room, heading to the bathroom, as Dean began scooping the mac-n-cheese into their bowls. Cas entered the room shortly after, helping Dean bring in the food. He wrapped his arms around Dean, whispering into his ear, "Aren't you happy?"

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Cas, smiling as he looked over his shoulder to Charmeine, hearing Sam exit the bathroom and walking towards the two of them. The sun was beginning to set, and a few kids outside were riding their bikes up and down the road without a care in the world as a dog followed them. The sound of the TV on in the living room was all Dean could really hear, filling the quiet empty space that was the rest of their house. "Yeah," Dean replied, as he took all of this in. "I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any questions about this story or any of the characters, please feel free to ask! I'll be sure to answer them all (if there are any)


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